Evidence

Ahhck!! Mianhe guys. I don’t know how I came up with this, but it just popped in my brain one booz and cigarette filled night. I guess misery loves company, and so I chose Hyunjoong to go down the black hole with me.

I am not posting this up in PB yet because I need to know if this is any good or if I’ll be burned at the stakes by the Hwangbo fans. I am a Hwangbo fan myself, so I thought it is unacceptable to do this or write something like this.

This is entirely based on a song (called Evidence) by one of my favorite bands—Urbandub (Cebuanos represent!! Much love and respect to you!!). It is a killer song, but very realistic.

Oh, by the way, this is for Bee because like I said, misery loves company.

And because it's Bee's request: Evidence by Urbandub
~*~

“Then what are we?”, he asked as he buttoned his white dress shirt.

“Tell me, Hyejung, what are we?”, now, in a more demanding tone.

Hyejung dramatically wrapped the silk blanket around her naked body and crawled across the king sized bed.

“Joongie..”, she whispered, holding on to his hand tightly. When she was face to face with him, she gently stroked his face, then wrapped her arms around his upper body.

“Please try to understand…”, she rested her cheek on Hyunjoong’s chest, as if listening to his heart, beating softly.

Her warmth, her scent was intoxicating.

“I’m not ready for a relationship yet. I’m afraid.”, she squeezed him tighter, closing whatever space was left between their bodies. “I’m afraid of destroying your career, of destroying mine. I’,m afraid of your fans, of your management company.”

She need not say all her reasons because all his defences crumbled once she wrapped him in her sweet embrace.

It was not the first time she said those reasons, and it was not the first time he asked that question. Her reasons were different each time and were entirely unacceptable because time and again, he told her he was willing to give up everything he had to be with her.

Perhaps, that was not enough. Perhaps, he will never be enough.
~*~
He quickly picks up his car keys from the coffee table. It’s been a tiring week and nothing seemed to be going right.

He tried hiding from people, but what can he do? The life and profession he chose required that he be hamming it up for the camera at all times and be surrounded by different people leaving him less and less time for himself, leaving less and less time to be himself.

It was difficult to pretend that he was happy when deep inside the pain was overflowing and there was a cut so deep, so raw, he thought he died the moment the realization dawned upon him.

Time has a way of healing, or so they say. So, why am I still left here, crying? Caught in these ways of emotions as people stare. I find there's no real place for me to hide.

On most of his nights, he went out to drown his sorrow in booz, but the more he gulped, the more bitter the taste of the alcohol got.

He thought pretending would help, and for a second, it was fine. For a moment, there was no pain, no feeling, but once the numbness in his heart melted away, it all came flooding back—the memory, the shock, the pain.

When he wakes up in the morning, it is the first thing he remembers. And before he closes his eyes at night, it haunts him and it lingers, even until he falls asleep.

As the night deepens, he wakes up, panting, out of breath, shivering, hands shaking because it kills him little by little when he remembers what he saw with his own eyes.

Well I've been trying in vain. I was only fooling myself. With each passing day, the pain still stays the same.

So, he drives today. Where? He does not know. He just drives, and drives, and drives.

The memories seep in as the cool night wind blows on his face. He hits the steering wheel.

B.ulls.hit!, he screams inside his head. He steps on the brakes letting the car skid on the slippery highway.

He tightens his grip on the wheel, feeling his heart pounding inside his chest.

What more is it that you need? Right now, clearly, it's not me. With every minute that I gave to you, the punches that I took from you, why was there no warning, love?

His heart bled. There was no sign, no heads up. She did not just break his heart, she tore it into pieces.

He never really saw it coming because all the while they seemed fine, they were happy—or so he thought. He gave her all his love, all the time he could spare, all of him. But after all that, she never really seemed to return his love.

He stared blankly ahead, headlights of cars passing by nearly blinding him. There were many questions he wanted to ask her, things he needed to find out.

When everything seemed alright, you turn and break my heart. Didn't I deserve your love?

He heaved. Sighing, as pictures of her and that other man came flashing like warning signs in his head. His face flushed bright red with anger, remembering her moans as that other man pleasured her.

It kills me inside to think of his arms wrapped around you now, is he a better lover than I?

He revs up the engine again, driving aimlessly again. He lets out a sarcastic laughter, thinking, how foolish he was. Thinking, he should have known right from the start. Thinking, he should have seen it when she was not willing to commit.

Well, I've been trying in vain. I was only fooling myself. With each passing day, the pain still stays the same.

Hyunjoong fervently remembers what happened that night. He parked his car on Hyejung’s drive way. Quickly, jumping out. He missed her so badly, he thought he would surprise her. Flowers in one hand and an expensive chocolate brown Chowchow pup on the other. He found the key to her door from under the rug, but the lights were out. Maybe she went out, he thought. But there was a faint yellow light from her bedroom door. And there were hushed talks and soft moans. He knew he should not have opened it, but he did.

It was Hyejung and her lover on the bed where Hyunjoong first made love to her, on the bed where Hyunjoong first confessed his love for her, on the bed where he proposed to her countless times.

The shock on her face was priceless. In fact, she quickly got up and ran towards Hyunjoong. She shamelessly begged him, but the dagger has pierced his heart already, and as she spoke and cried, it was like she kept on twisting the dagger, digging deeper. Too deep that it would kill him once it was pulled out.

Caught you in the arms of another. I've found out about you.

Now, Hyunjoong dims his headlights and slows to quiet down the engine as he enters the neighborhood.

His heart races as he sees the light from a certain bedroom.

‘It’s past midnight already, could she be alone?’, he wondered.

‘Is he with her right now?’, he asks himself.

He does not know why he keeps coming back, but he just does.

Time has a way of healing, or so they say. So, why am I still left here?
~*~
So, what do you guys think?

At least, I'm not as brutal as the video.