In Love

Photobucket
credits to Photobucket


Waikiki + I’m In Love + rain = FANFIC

Waikiki -> I was sooooo jealous of the fan who met and saw (and even took pix with) Hwangbo in Waikiki..

I’m In Love -> Narsha’s song. I fell in love with it, the first time I heard it (while watching Khuntoria)

Rain -> It rained today!!!! So it was not so hot..

It was a happy, lazy Sunday, and the Bruha was ^_________^!!

This is for Bebelab. I love Bri-bo and am a shipper(since Storm began), but I’m still aboard the Ssangchu Ship.. Kaya lng akoy namamangka sa tatlong ilog na!!

And also for Ryuuki!!

Sorry if it's crappy and the plot is weird... I'm still sleepy!!

Comments and suggestions are very welcome (as usual)..

And yeah, let's just pretend that's Hwangbo in the Pic.. hehehehe.. Sorry my Photo Editing skills are uhhhmmm, okay i have no skill at all!!!
~*~

The hustle and bustle of the busy streets did not seem to bother you today. You’re one who never likes the rain, but you came out wrapped in your windbreaker and an umbrella in one hand. The drive was long as it was a busy time of the day, but you did not mind because you have an impressive ability to block out other things and focus.

Today, you did not want it to bother you, but it just did. Despite the rain and the cold winds, you found it necessary to come out.

This morning you woke up and found yourself alone in your bed, in your room, in your apartment. It was not something new and you liked it better that way, but at that moment, it felt weird. There was a slight tug, a pang in your heart. Somehow, you thought, that when you open your eyes today, she will be there, that she will be right by your side, that when you open your eyes she will be the first thing you see.

She’s leaving today, well not for good, but she is leaving the country for a few days.

Last night while she was packing her things, you asked her how long will she be gone. She laughed and said that if she loves it there so much, she might not come back. It was meant as a joke, but you found yourself unsettled for the rest of the night.

You were not used to this setting. You were always one to leave, one to go away, one to take random trips for work, for soul searching, for vacations, for fun. And she was always the one waiting for you at home, waiting for you to come home.

She was always the one waiting for you, and you were always the one coming home to her.

You glanced at the other person at the passenger seat. She was talking animatedly on the phone. She seemed happy, excited, giddy. You were happy for her. Of course, you were. After all, Waikiki was beautiful and relaxing, and she deserves to take that vacation. But, the thought of her going away played tricks on your mind.

You pulled over as you reached the entrance of the airport.

She smiled at you, “Komawo.. for taking me to the airport..”

You sighed, it was not something you wanted to do and you did not want her to leave, too, but it would be stupid not to take her to the airport when you were feeling uneasy, when you were feeling like she was going away for good.

She fished her handbag from the backseat of your Cayenne, and smiled, “I cooked some food for you, it’s in the fridge. Just heat it up in the microwave when you’re hungry, okay?”

She smiled and opened the door.

You panicked as you watched her open the door of the car.

And on impulse, you grabbed hold of her hand. You do not know why, but you just did.

She turned to look at you, a confused look on her eyes. You continued to hold her wrist tightly as you stared at her—her cat-like eyes, her aristocratic nose, her full lips. You did not want her to go, and you knew you were going to miss her so badly, you feel like your heart was going to break into a million pieces, but it would be selfish of you to ask her to stay.

So, you let go of her wrist, “Call me right away when you arrive in Waikiki, okay?”

She nodded and exited the vehicle.

You watched her retreating back, and felt your heart twinge.

Right and there, you know you loved her, but did not know how to say it. You’ve been seeing each other and practically living together for almost two years now, but there was never a confession of love. She did not say it, and you did not either. As Seo Inyoung used to say, ‘It was not your style’. Besides, you were not really sure if you felt it.

But now, it was clear. You were just stupid enough not to see. You loved her.

You took out your phone and dialled.

“Hyejungah..”, you said, she turned around to face the car and looked at you.

“Wae?”, she asked.

“Enjoy your vacation.”, you told her.

She smiled, and nodded, “Yes, I will..”

“And Hyejungah..”, you hesitated, “I love you…”

You pressed the End Call button, released the hand brake of your car, and drove away.

She stood there—frozen, immobile—watching as the car sped away. She was obviously stunned.

You let out a sigh of relief. There, you finally said it.

I thought I’m never gonna fall in love. But I’m in love ‘coz I wanna love you baby!

Reasons

I feel bad for not being able to console my evil sole sis (Jobibee) tonight, and for that, I AM SSORY!! I know a lousy fic I whipped up in the two to three hours that I could not get in to any sites is not enough, but I still hope it'll make you feel warm, fuzzy and pink again.

To Lovekathy21, I don't always write tragic FFs, sometimes I write mushy fics, too!! Nyhahahaha..

Photobucket
credits to Photobucket

There were times in your life that when asked why you loved her so, all you could do was smile because your brain becomes empty and your mouth runs dry.

Reasons leave us. Sometimes, for good. But there are those beautiful moments, when they come back. And there are even more awe-inspiring times, when they multiply right before our very eyes.

You watch with gentle, calm eyes as she sways her head softly to the melodic, jazzy sounds created by the fusion of drums, saxophone, bass guitar and piano.

You were once passionate about playing the guitar, and it amuses you that she knows your secret desires and whims because sometimes, she gives in to them, no matter how unreasonable, no matter how shallow. You were completely engrossed with playing the base guitar again, but you were far more enthralled to see her smiling and enjoying herself.

You've met her several hundred times in the studios, maybe some events, a few shows, and perhaps common friends' parties in the past. Back then, there were a few things that you remember when her name is mentioned. There were three to be exact: her boisterous laughter which was enigmatically infectious, the giant tattoo that ran through her back which shouted bold, independence and freedom, and her energy be it day or night.

The two of you were two different creatures, living very different lives with two different outlooks, different perspectives. The two of you were just plain DIFFERENT. But amazingly enough, all those differences seemed to have vanished when you got to know her better through the show.

In the beginning, you thought fate was harsh, cruel even. The heavens seemed to have fallen on you when you saw her driving the red top-down car. Dismay would be an understatement to how you felt that very moment. For one, she was older than you by six years. She was bright and bubbly, and you were glum, statue-like and you hardly even talk around strangers. She was dark skinned and tomboyish, and you liked fair skinned, cutesy girls. So, you thought this on screen marriage would become a total failure.

You do not know when exactly your wrong perception of her started to crack, but it just did.

You do not know when exactly you started feeling something for her. Feelings that were totally different from those of a school boy when he sees his crush because yours were more.. So much more that words could define.

The crowd applauded as you and the band ended your last song. They seemed satisfied and happy. You seemed more relaxed now, far different from the fuming Hyunjoong that you were when you came home.

You searched the crowd, their faces marked with contentment, but you do not need their approval, the only approval you need is from her—the woman you promised to continue to woe and please for the rest of your life.

You looked around searching for that woman with black straight hair, aristocratic nose, full luscious lips and cat-like, almond eyes, but you could not see her. She was not on the spot where she sat and listened to you and the band playing Jazz music.

You frantically try to remember what she was wearing today, but all you could think of was that it was glittery.

“Dammit!!”, you curse at your bad memory, 'How can I forget what she was wearing today??'

You were so wrapped up in your anger a few hours ago that she had to drag you out of the apartment and brought you here, a place you did not know existed deep in the busy streets of Seoul.

You were sulking like a spoiled little boy that you barely noticed what she was wearing or how she took you here. All you remembered is being pushed inside a dimly lit, low key bar, her talking to a man behind the counter, then she walked over to you struggling with the weight of bass guitar that she handed over to you. Somewhere between talking to the rest of the band members and the first few notes of the lovely melody, you were lost in the music.

When the first song ended, you opened your eyes and found her smiling happily at you. The glumness and anger seemed to have disappeared. All the pressure and stress were gone.

You smiled back at her and mouthed, 'Thank you'. And you wonder how she knew that music and playing the guitar soothes your tired, unhappy nerves.

After putting back the guitar inside the black case, you step off the podium. It did not take long before you smiled again, the sight of her makes you giddy and excited, your heart goes thump, thump in a jazzy, blue-zzy type of rhythm.

“Oppa!! You look very handsome on stage!! Can I have your signature please?”, Hwangbo beamed at you and handed you a bouquet of Sunflowers.

“Ahh, thank you.. You have to ask my Manager if I'm allowed to sign autographs though. She was here somewhere wearing something glittery.”, you joked as you wrapped your arms around her.

“But seriously, what's with the 'Oppa'?”, you asked her.

She giggled, “Didn't you say before that you liked being called Oppa by your fans? I am a big fan, Oppa!!”

You laughed heartily, “But for this particular fan, I just want to be called Shillang...”

You swung her over to your arms and lifted her off her feet, dropping the bouquet. Before she could protest, you kissed her. A torrid, passionate kiss that left her gasping afterward.

You smiled, then all the reasons why you love her very much came flooding back and multiplied a hundredfold.

Age+Hormones=Drama

Photobucket
I'm really bored and have nothing to do, so this might suck big time!!!

Comments are very much appreciated!! *wink, wink*
~*~
"I'm leaving for Waikiki in ten days..", she announces, holding the pieces of stapled papers higher, trying to cover her face.

Hyunjoong frantically flips the pages of his script, but his search was in vain. That line or something that sounded like it was not in any part of the script.

"What page are you on, Buin?", he asks still flipping through the papers.

There was no answer, just the sound of her deep breathing and the air conditioner blowing cool air into the living room.

He looked up to ask her, but her face was fully hidden behind the papers.

"Buin?", he asked one more time, crossing his brows.

She sighed, "Didn't you hear me? I'm going to Waikiki in ten days.", she repeated, this time more forceful, almost irritated.

"Okay..", he answered, amused by the sudden change of her mood. He swiftly snatched the script from her hand.

Just this morning they happily woke up together, ate the hearty breakfast Hyunjoong cooked, washed their linens together. Heck, they were even happily acting out and reading lines for Hyunjoong's new drama.

But then, Hwangbo became glum, she read the lines with less emotion. She did not smile. She kept sighing like there was something she wanted to say.

"Okay..", Hyunjoong said again, waiting for her explanation, but she just kept on looking everywhere but him. "So, what time is your flight?"

She stayed quiet, but her breathing grew ragged. She's going to explode anytime and he knew it, so he waited, getting ready for whatever will come his way.

A throw pillow came flying, so he covered his head.

"Yah, aren't you even going to ask me not to go, like you used to?", she glared at him.

"Of course not!", he smirked.

"I would be a very bad boyfriend slash husband slash live-in partner if I stop my girlfriend slash wife slash live-in partner from having a vacation while I work my ass off on a new drama..", he continued to tease her.

Hyunjoong continued to smile at her, like nothing happened, and this irritated her.
"So how many days will you be gone?", he asked her.

"A week or more.. Maybe fifteen days...", she muttered under her breath.

"Oh goody, can I ask Jaejoong to stay while you're not here??", Hyunjoong pretended to be completely oblivious of her sharp stares.

"Ahh, whatever. Do whatever you want to do, it's your apartment anyway.", she said, finally getting up from the cream colored couch and headed to the kitchen.

Hyunjoong snickered as he reached over to grab the phone.

Hwangbo sat on the kitchen counter, venting her anger and sudden spite on the crunchy peanut butter and bananas.

"Of all days to provoke me, why now when I’m hormonal?", she muttered in between bites.

A thought suddenly entered her mind, and she sulked.

'Is he that excited to get rid of me? Am I a burden to his freedom and independence?',she asked herself.

She walked back towards the living room only to find Hyunjoong busy talking on the phone, too busy to even notice her.

"Aren't you going to eat dinner?", she asked, but he did not hear her.

"Yahhh!!", she said, but there was no response.

Hwangbo rolled her eyes and retreated to the bedroom.

It was way past midnight when the phone rang.

"Answer the phone, Kim Hyunjoong..", she muttered, groggy, still half asleep.

The phone kept ringing.

Hwangbo finally got up only to find out that Hyunjoong was not in bed with her.

'That brat..', she thought.

"Yoboseyo?", her voice cracked, making it sound hoarse, manly even.

"Hyung!!", a voice that sounded like Hyungjun's said. "We cannot find it here. Noona probably hid it somewhere.."
Someone was giving him instructions from behind. It was clearly Kyujong, "Boram Noona said if we cannot find it inside Hwangbo Noona's house, maybe we can try the We Got Married studio, probably the stock room.", he said, "Noona wants to talk to you.."

"Yahhh, Hyunjoongah!! Why don't you answer your phone? If she finds out, something is missing, consider us dead..", Boram asked. "Anyway, we'll try to find the Pooh costume in the studios, but we found the cranes sent by the fans and the ones you made, too."

Hwangbo was alarmed, she was not planning to speak, but she could not help it, "Do not touch those cranes.."

"Omo!!", Boram panicked, "Hyejungah??"

"I said, Do not touch the cranes, Boram..", Hwangbo whispered over the phone. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing!!", Boram quickly answered.

"Then what are doing in my apartment?", she asked her friend, but Boram fell silent.

"I am not letting you touch those cranes..", Hwangbo, now fully awake, said firmly.

"Ottoke??", Boram's voice was trembling, "Chinggu, don't do this!!", she pleaded.

"Fine, tell me why you're in my apartment first..", Hwangbo demanded again.

She heard their hushed voices over the phone.

"Put Hyungjun on the phone..", the easiest to bribe and scare out of the three.

"Hwangbo Noona??", he greeted, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

"Well? Aren't you going tell me what you're doing there, Young Master?", Hwangbo spoke in her sweetest voice.

"Don't tell her Hyungjun, Hyung will behead us...", she heard Kyujong say.

Hwangbo could hear Boram protesting in the background, "Ani!! Ani!! You have to tell her Hyungjun.."

"Well, Noona.. I will tell you...", Hyungjun started. "I will tell you if you promise never to tell Hyunjoong hyung.."
"He... he.. has a surprise for you...", Kyujong interrupted.

"Be more specific please..", she was more interested now.

"See, I told you she'd ask for details", Hyunjun muttered.

"He bought you a bigger apartment, okay? Very expensive, very huge, very safe..", Boram finally fessed up.

Hwangbo was speechless.

"When he heard you were going to Waikiki for a few days, he wanted to prepare everything. He wanted this to be his birthday present, so that you won't feel so uncomfortable cramped up in his small apartment. He wanted a bigger kitchen with only the best equipments and utensils. He wanted more rooms, so you could have a display case for your stuff and a place for the things you value the most. Heck, I think he even prepared a baby room..", Kyujong explained, smirking when he said the last line.

"So Noona, we are begging you, don't tell Hyung.", Hyungjun begged.

Hwangbo was left in awe. There she was making a big deal out of petty things, and there he was planning their future. She dropped the phone, and decided to look for him.

She frantically searched every room, and found him fast asleep in front of his Macbook Air, on top of some papers that looked like blueprints, and sketches. A dark blue velvet box lay peacefully beside the sleeping idol.

Hwangbo did not want to know what was inside. She wanted to be surprised on her thirty-first birthday, but curiosity got the best of her.

There it was a vintage Cartier diamond ring. She saw the ring before. It was at a family gathering for Chuseok. It was his mother’s.

Underneath the gorgeous ring was an antique key. For the apartment, she assumed.

She gently put down the box, and gave him a small peck on his exposed cheek.

“Thank you”, she whispered.

She headed back to the bed room quietly trying her best not to wake him up, she did not want to ruin the surprise after all.

Bald is Beautiful

Ahck, I'm getting too emotional these days..

Mianhe in advance...

~*~

He used to style his hair however he felt like it. He took very good care of it after being criticized for dying it orange once.


It was his crowning glory.


But now, he stands in front of your vanity—slowly brushing his fingers through his hair, staring at the loose strands on his fingers. His eyes filled with sorrow and pain.


He takes one of your beanies from the display shelf and tries it on, then one of your caps. But seeing his appearance on the mirror does not satisfy him. He takes off the hat and lets out a big sigh.


He blankly stares at the strands of his hair scattered on the floor and the vanity. Thinking deeply.


He quickly hides the devastation on his face when he sees your almond eyes fixed on him. He forces a smile.


“It’s just hair.. It will grow back”, he said.


You open your eyes wider to keep the tears from breaking loose and spilling on your cheeks.


“Right.. It will grow back, honey..”, you try your best to keep your voice from shaking.


You admire his strength, and most of all, you admire his will power to continue to live on despite the odds and the pain caused by his illness.


You walked towards him and hugged him from behind. You did not want to see him so weak and powerless. You did not want him to see how painful it was for you to see him that way. You wanted to be strong for him. You wanted to be his rock, but all your strength crumbles down to tiny pebbles and dust when you hear him cry because of the pain.


Your shoulders shudder as the tears streamed down your face. You hold him tighter.


“Stop crying my Love.”, he said untangling your arms around his waist, and started to go through a black bag on top of the vanity, searching for something.


“Will you do something for me, Honey?”, he mumbled, still concentrating on looking for something.


You nodded as you watched his reflection on the mirror.


At this very moment, you were willing to do anything for him, anything to make him happy, anything to make him feel just how much you love him.


In this relationship, he has been the strong one. Although you were born a few years earlier, you always relied on him for strength on anything and everything—be it in your career, your family, your friends.


He finally found what he was looking for. He smiled and turned to you.


He handed a silver electronic gadget over to you, and placed it in your trembling hands.

You looked at him, confused.


“Will you shave it all off for me, Buin?”, he smiled, sincerely.


“No…no… I can’t do it…”, you try to hand it back to him. You were beginning to cower.


But he refused to take it, “Please??”, he begged.


“I want you to do it.”


“You know this is not easy for me. But if you will be the one to shave off my hair, maybe it won’t be as tough.”


“You know I would have easily given up on this battle with cancer, but you said you wanted me to fight it. You said you wanted me to fight it and that you’ll fight it with me. You said you wanted me to fight it for you and our love. It was painful, words can never explain the pain, but I will and I am. I chose to fight it because of you.”


“When I sit on that chemo chair, I think of you, a future with you, the love I will share with you, and it does not hurt as much anymore…”


You wipe the tears on your cheek and reached over to wipe his tears. It was your turn to be strong for him. It was your turn to be his rock.


“Sit down”, you told him. He complied.


You held the device tightly after turning it on. You smiled at him.


“Are you ready??”, you asked.


He bobbed his head up and down. There was not a single trace of pain in his eyes as he smiled eagerly.


It was not an easy thing to do, but for this man, you are just about ready to do anything because you need him, because you love him, because you love him perhaps more than you love yourself, so you need him more than the riches and the fame this world can ever offer.

~*~

This story came from nowhere.. Lie!!


Having to watch someone close to you fight cancer is disheartening. Your insides turn to jelly and you lose strength. Yesterday, I came home to see a family member balding, almost hairless. She smiled at me, and said, I think I need to have all of it shaved already. I sucked it all up and smiled back, Yeah, the weather is kind of hot, so maybe it'll be more refreshing for you that way..


I'm looking for a diversion, so here it is...TADA...


Comments ABOUT THE FIC are deeply appreciated.
Bald is Beautiful Pancreatic Cancer Chemotherapy Chemo Purple Pictures, Images and Photos

Na7x Talkin' bout you and me..and the Games People Play..

You know those awfully boring times at work where you grow sleepy beyond comprehension because there is nothing to do and time passes by e..v..e...r... s..o.. s..l..o..w..l..y, but you cannot sleep because you'll be putting your career and working ass on the line?, well, I've had a lot of those times-me and a friend to be more exact. So we thought of and did a lot of things to keep our idle minds amused. We tried to be very creative, so we tried everything from Facebook, Friendster, Meebo, YM, Yahoomail, Hotmail, read e-books, gossip, browse, research on Korean dramas, sms (yes, even if she's just a cubicle away), did each others manicure, make up, coloring books (uh-huh!! you read it correctly!!), word hunts, play cards, etcetera...

But when our internet access was limited to just certain sites, we knew we had to be more creative, so work email enters...

The thing is, we ask each other questions (mostly if, then, what or who questions-to make it more fun), and we answer each other through email.

I was digging through stuff and deleting emails when I found this. Our topic was Korean stuff (from the country to the people, especially Kpop and Kdramas) which probably was the longest running topic we had.

I'll just post the questions thrown at me and my answers since I am not too sure 'friend' wants to reveal all her dorky answers-nyahahhaa..

Here goes:

If the people in the world were only allowed to have ONE CRUSH, who would you choose, Hyunbin and Gong Yoo?

Me: *sigh* This is harder than I thought!! I love both very much!!! But I'll have to go with Gong Yoo because Hyunbin is taken.. Ow, that does not make Gong Yoo any lesser than Hyunbin because I heart both!!

If Yunho goes to Cebu and you see him riding a Multicab, what would say to him?

Me: I probably won't be able to recognize him because there are lots of Koreans here in Cebu who have learned to use Public Utility Vehicles, and I suck at recognizing people upfront. If I can spot him, I would be the happiest, luckiest Yunho-shipper ever!! I would probably pay for his fare, answer all his questions (even if he does not ask me), fan him because it's terribly hot in Multicabs.. I'd even take him to souvenir shops, Korean restaurants, wherever.. I'd say: Annyeong, Saranghae!! Please Marry Me!!

Who is the fliest female celebrity in Kpop?


Me: I think Hyori is a cool girl and Seo Inyoung, too. I also like Yoon Eunhye, but Hwangbo, for me, will always be the fliest female celebrity ever!!

And your girlcrush is??

Me: Ahhh, that's easy!! Hwangbo!!

What's your favorite-est ever Kdrama?

Me: I've seen this drama probably more than five times, and I will watch it again when I feel like it.. It has to be My name is Kim Sam Soon..

Which is better X-man or Loveletter?

Me: WTH!! Those two are different programs!! But X-man has more variety, so X-man it is!!

Lee Dahae or Go Hyesun?

Me: I like both, and both are VERY pretty!! And they act well!! I give them equal amount of love!!

Best Kpop group?

Me: Shinhwa!!! I heard they're reuniting on 2012. See, even if they have broken up as a group and have individual careers, they still look back to what made them what they are now. That's what I call brotherhood!! And for that, I admire them.. That also makes them the best!!

2ne1, SNSD, T-ara, BownEyedGirls, F(x), Wondergirls, Kara?

Me: I'm in a bind between 2ne1 and Wondergirls. I'm a fan of Yubin and I heart Dara, too. Both groups have catchy songs and they're not the usual 'oh, we're so cute..' girl groups. 2ne1-they're badass and Wondergirls-they're old school with a twist. So, it's 2ne1 and Wondergirls!

Mom, when I grow up I wanna be...

Me: Duh!! I wanna be like Hwangbo!! She's like my childhood hero, except that I knew about her at the ripe age of 25.. Hahahaha.. She's like equal to Madonna in my Childhood heroes poll..

Who are your favorites?

CNBlue - Yonghwa and the basist
2PM - Chansung and Nichkhun
2AM - Jinwon and Seulong
Super Junior - Heechul and Sungmin
Mblaq - Seungho and GO
Shinee - uhhhh... Hehe.. *smiles, completely clueless*
FT Island - Jeremy!!! Hahahaha.. Hongki of course!! He's too adorable!!
DBSK - Yunho and Micky!!
SS501 - Kyujong!!!
Shinhwa - Eric, Andy, Junjin and Dongwan
Beast - Haha.. Uhmmm? Uhh, I don't know any of them.

If you could remake one movie, what would it be and who would be the cast?

Me: Hmmmm, Dirty Dancing!! *big smile* But I would change the story. Instead of a younger girl, I would use a Noona. Enter, Hwangbo. And of course, a younger guy to teach her how to dance. Enter, Kim Hyunjoong. Weeeee!! They would bicker and fight, then learn to dance (note: intimately, passionately), then fall in love... and the rest I leave to your imagination---PERVY ONES, I'm assuming!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*end of 1st email* I'll dig some more...

Untitled 070810

The drama at work is a major killer... And someone pointed out that I'm too wordy and that I should keep things short and concise... She also said I cannot write a fic with only 500 words or less, so I said BRING IT ON!!

This is the result of the challenge. 464 words, waddup wid dat, b!atch??! Just kidding, the one who challenged me is a good long lost friend... Nyahahaha...

I was able to write one, but the thing is I'm not sure if it makes any sense at all.

And, it has no title.. Suggestions, please??

I'd appreciate some comments, and please tell me if it does not make any sense..
~*~

“Yoboseyo...”

The greeting makes you wince in pain, like daggers piercing through your heart and twisting it, digging deeper, cutting through.

“Yoboseyo??”

The voice rings in your ears as you hasten your pace, almost a jog. Trying to be discrete you slow down a bit, but the dagger cuts through and slices your heart open. And so, you run.

“Hyunjoongah, I know you're there.”

You just cannot get the voice inside your head. You run, as fast as you can—away from people, away from the flashing lights, away from it all.

“Hyunjoongah, are you listening to me? Hyunjoongah, please...”

You feel the tartan tracks burning under your soles as you increase your speed. But the faster you run, the louder her pleading voice echoes in your head.

“I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but I need to know if you're alright. Are you okay, Shillang?”

The air that's supposed to enter your lungs seemed to have abandoned you. You take in shallow breaths as you continue to run.

'Shillang?'

The term of endearment she used so casually doubled the pain you were trying to endure right now. 'How could she call me that now, when she was the one who called it off?', you thought as the scene of you on your knees proposing to her flashed in your chaotic head.

“You are going to be fine.. I know you can overcome all these..”

You shook your head. No, you are not going to be fine. And, you doubt whether or not you can get passed this ordeal with your group, with your former Management Company, with your anti-fans.

“If you need me..”, she stammered.

The sincerity in her voice was shaking the ground you ran on. A part of you wants to hear what she has to say, and part of you does not want to hear it anymore. But no matter how many times she breaks and rips your heart out of your chest, she was still the only one.

“If you need me, I'm just here, Shillang. I'm ready to listen. I'm just here..”

You drop to the ground as exhaustion takes over your tired body. Your heart was pounding on your chest. Sweat trickled from your forehead as you try to catch your breath. Her kind words on that phone call were stinging your barely alive heart. You close your eyes feeling the cold night air and listening to the deafening silence.

You get lost in your moment of reverie, and you silently formulate the words you wanted to say to her:

You have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. Now that we're living separate lives...

Heaven

I guess this is what they call last song syndrome. Last night before going to bed, I played this song at least five times in my laptop after watching the video that a college friend posted in her Facebook page. It's rather old, but a really good one.

I hope one day when my Papa hears this song, he'll think of me. *senti..ang drama...luppeeeet, hanep mehn!!!* And I hope to sing this song to my daughter one day (that is if I ever give birth to one)..

The past few days every song I hear seems to be Ssangchu related and if it's not, I always make some excuse, saying that it somehow connects to the couple. Ahck!! This is not healthy anymore, somebody slap me please!!

The plot/storyline came while waiting. And since waiting is tiresome, *TADA!!* a fanfic..

Comments and opinions are very welcome!! Oh warning I need to brush up on my Korean, so expect TONS of mistakes in this one
~*~
The sun has not fully taken over the skies yet, but there were rays scattered around giving illumination to the early risers. The soft rustling of the pink linens was always the first noise that awakened this household.

She wiggled her tiny toes and stretched her limbs.

“Good Morning, Eunsoo..”, she whispered to herself, alternately opening her left and right eyes.

“I'm awake Jins... I'm awake Teukie..”, she announced talking to the white Pomeranian licking her left hand(the grand daughter of her mother's dog), and the gray rabbit inside his cage.

She quickly jumped off the bed and ran to the hallways.

“Slowly Aghassi..”, the old woman working in the kitchen called out.

“Eunsoo is awake Ahjumma!”, she shouted, slowing down as she went down the stairs and dropped by the kitchen to give the aged woman a wink.

The little girl tiptoed when she reached the hardwood floors that led to the master's bedroom and carefully opened the door, trying her best not make any sound.

“Eunsoo is awake..”, she giggled as she talked, “Hyunjoong Appa, Good Morning!!”

The man under the white linens stirred.

“Hmmm, good morning princess..”, he mumbled then went back to sleep.

She ran back to the kitchen gleefully and opened the back door that led to the garden where a fresh beam of sun light made the patches of green and new pink and peach blossoms glow. She ran outside before the Ahjumma tells her to wear her slippers. Eunsoo loved the way the Bermuda grass tickled the soles of her feet. She giggled as she picked up a peach flower on the ground and put it on her hair.

“Eunsoo is awake!!”, she yelled to the top of her voice. “Hyejung Omma, Good Morning. Saranghae!!”

Eunsoo ran back inside before the Ahjumma catches her without her slippers on.

It was a typical morning in the Kim household. When the first rays of the morning sun hit the ground, the household comes alive because of the little princess' joyous morning chants.

She walks towards where the school bus was parked after kissing her Appa goodbye. Jiseuk, one of the neighborhood kids, walks up behind her.

“Annyeong Eunsoo..”, he greets her.

Eunsoo smiled at him happily.

“Can I ask you something?”, the little boy said.

Eunsoo nodded, “Yes..”

“My Omma said your Omma died three years ago..”, he paused trying to look at Eunsoo's reaction, but she just smiled waiting for him to finish what he was saying.

“Why do you still greet her in the garden?”, he continued.

“Ahhh..”, she giggled, “Did I wake you? I'm sorry if I did..”

Eunsoo's smile widened, “Hyejungssi, my Omma loved the garden. She worked there a lot.. Appa and Ahjumma said every morning she would sit there with me. Then she would say.. “Eunsoo is awake.. Good morning, Eunsoo. Saranghae..””

“When I do that in the morning, it's like I greet my Omma who is in Heaven..”, she added and walked on.
~
It was the start of yet another morning in the Kim household. But today was dim and dreary. There was a heavy cloud hovering over the entire city. Soon rain poured, blocking out the sunlight. Only furious lightning bolts lit up parts of the neighborhood.

Eunsoo was startled as the roaring thunder shook the upper storey of the house. Fear got the best of the six year old lass. She shook violently as tears ran down her cheeks. Another fierce lightning crackled and scared Eunsoo.

She fled her bedroom and took refuge in the Master's bedroom, hoping her father would be there, but a cold whiff of air and empty bed greeted her. Eunsoo remembered that her father was on a Business trip and would not be home until the next morning.

She quickly ran to the kitchen and opened the back door, but another roaring thunder came. She slumped at the doorway and started crying her heart out. She was alone, she realized. Her Appa was not there, and she was without a mother.

'I am alone', she thought and cried some more.

Her shoulders started to tremble, and her nose was as red as a tomato.

“I am alone..”, she cried like the scared little lady that she was.

“Aghassi..”, she heard the Ahjumma call her out.

Eunsoo looked at the old woman, “Ahjumma, I am alone. They all left Eunsoo..”

“Here...”, the Ahjumma wiped Eunsoo's tears and carried her in her arms.

“You know your Appa is just in Japan for work, right?”, she explained to Eunsoo after setting her down on the kitchen counter “And Omma.. Even if she is no longer on earth and even if we could no longer see her, she'll always be here”, the Ahjumma pointed at Eunsoo's heart.

“Hyejungssi will always be inside your heart..”, she smiled. “Don't you ever forget that, Aghassi.. Your Omma will always be inside your heart as long as it beats and you in hers. So do not ever think that you are alone..”

Eunsoo's sobs started to pacify.

The Ahjumma took her by the hand and led her to the basement. Eunsoo looked at her, confused. She's never seen this part of the house before.

There was a small lounge-like sofa in the middle of the huge space. Cabinets stood on the side with a wide array of bags and clothes lined neatly by the glass display cases where mannequins stood dressed in elegant satin ensembles. Beautiful photographs were pasted on the wall that faced the display cases with small HBHJ watermarks. On the far corner there were more clothes, this time for little girls.

“Hyejungssi spent a lot of time here when she was pregnant with you, little Eunsoo. Your Appa and your Omma decided that she should stop working because her pregnancy was complicated, that's when your Appa decided to make this basement her studio. Your Omma wanted to take beautiful pictures and make beautiful clothes for Eunsoo”, the Ahjumma narrated.

“And you know what, when she started getting sick after giving birth to you and when your Appa was not with her, she stayed here, especially when the rain poured.”

The Ahjumma picked up a pink knitted beanie, “She made this for you and everything in here..See, you are never alone Kim Eunsoo. Never. Your Omma loved you very much..”

Eunsoo smiled, completely astounded by everything in the room. Her glum spirit was uplifted. There was something in that room that made her feel like her mother was right beside her, holding her tightly, protectively in her strong arms.
~
The promise of a new morning, be it rainy or sunny, always meant something new and beautiful in the Kim household.

Eunsoo, now 27 years old and full bloomed beautiful woman, wiggled her toes making a rustling sound. She pulls the blanket from her face and let the fresh morning sun beams hit her face. She smiled, as she alternately opened her eyes.

“Is Eunsoo finally awake?”, a man's voice asked.

Eunsoo rubbed the sleep from her eyes and smiled at the man by the doorway. “Good morning Appa! Eunsoo is awake..”

She jumped off her four poster bed and ran to give Hyunjoong a kiss on the cheek.

They walked hand in hand towards the garden.

“Eunsoo and Appa are awake Omma..” she said, resting her head on her Appa's shoulder.

“Good Morning, Buin..”, Hyunjoong whispered.

“We love you Omma..”, Eunsoo added, “We love you very much...”
~
Hyunjoong knocked on the basement door.

His heart started beating in a very fast rhythm. It's been a very long time since he stepped foot on this basement. He found it very difficult to come back here and be flooded by memories of his beloved wife.

He smiled when he saw Eunsoo being made up, donning the cream colored wedding gown Hyejung wore on their wedding. She was a mirror image of his wife with her aristocratic nose, perfect full lips and cat-like eyes. Her smile was kind and gorgeous like her mother's.

“Yippouda..”, Hyunjoong said.

Eunsoo looked at him, unsure , as if asking for reassurance.

“Just like your mother..”, he added.

Finally, a wide smile broke on Eunsoo's face. She was indeed very beautiful just like her mother.

Hyunjoong watched as the make-up artists busied themselves on getting Eunsoo ready for her big wedding.

'I know you are in heaven smiling down on us Buin..', he sighed, contented, blissful. 'You gave me my little piece of heaven here on earth and, I hope you are as happy as I am...'

'Thank you..', he smiled, 'I'll be seeing you again..'

I don't need no one, to tell me about Heaven.
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth.
I can see the sunset, and I perceive.

the Queen Bee is 24 today!!

Happy Birthday Pictures, Images and Photos

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY TO MY EVIL SOLE SISTER, JOBIBEE!!
Photobucket

guess who we invited to your party, Bee

jang geun suk Pictures, Images and Photos

Geun Seuk is on his way...

dance Pictures, Images and Photos

and he tagged along with Yonghwa and Hongki for a special dance number..



Rain Bi Pictures, Images and Photos

Bi's sure to come...

rain bi Pictures, Images and Photos

but he had to shower first...



Jungmin Pictures, Images and Photos

Jungmin is wearing his hanbok today...

Photobucket


and shouting that he LOVE'S YA, LOVE'S YA, LOVE'S YA!!




20100623 taeyang final track for solar album revealed Pictures, Images and Photos

Taeyang is quite excited...

Taeyang gif Pictures, Images and Photos

and ready to rip his clothes off if he can't come!!!


Lee Min Ho Pictures, Images and Photos
Minhossi is on his way, too...

lee min ho Pictures, Images and Photos
he just had to get a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee..



so, stop sulking and blow your candles...

birthday candles Pictures, Images and Photos

A Getaway

because this is how the future for Joongbo should be...

and to the sole sis who asked for an Island Getaway fic--I know this is not the story you had in mind, but you know I don't/cannot do pervy stuff, so you'll just have to be satisfied with this..

wa na koy utang ha, i already did three fanfics for you!!! THREE FANFICS INCLUDING A JUNGMIN FIC!!!!

~*~

They say there is no place like home, but when that place you call home becomes a raucous circus, it is only right that you seek solace somewhere else, somewhere safe, somewhere reposeful, somewhere free from judgment and harsh comments, somewhere where you can let your mind roam until the farthest regions of the earth.

But there are also times, when you just want to be faraway from the usual. A getaway is what you call it.

You draw in a deep breath as you squinted your eyes surveying the beach front—pristine blue waters, white sugar-like sands, fresh salty breeze, tall coconut trees dancing to the wind's hypnotizing rhythm.

This is how your afternoons are meant to be—falling asleep under a coconut tree in a Nipa and Bamboo cabana, surrounded by clean white linens and soft fluffy pillows.

It's not your first time here. In fact this has become your escape route when you just want to get away from it all. You fell in love in and with this place. It's not that the locals do not know who you are, after all you've become a big Hallyu star when you graduated from your Idol image. It's just that they respect your privacy. Teenage girls still talk in whispers when you pass them by, but they do not go as far as taking your pictures, screaming and begging for signatures like their life depended on it. The elders are nice, and you admired how simple their lives are.

You wipe the sweat trickling on your forehead as you sat to face the wide sea. There's not a cloud in sight and it promises to be a beautiful afternoon. You look around appreciating the fact that the island has not changed much—there was still the watch tower from the Spanish era that you visited when you first came here, the floating house you stayed in for a few days on your second visit which was owned by another foreigner who fell in love and re-married in the island, and the seaside grill where you frequently ate chicken and hanging rice on your third visit.


You looked around and fixed your gaze at the woman whose back was facing you.

She was seated on a stool at the resort's bar animatedly talking to the bartender. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail with some soft curly tendrils falling on her bare shoulders. Her long pale yellow maxi dress hugged her slim figure as she sat, and from where you are, you could tell just how tiny her waist was. The dress exposed her back where her name and a lotus flower were stamped.

She belonged to nobody but herself, the tattoo screamed.

She climbed down the tall stool and thanked the bartender who seemed to have been captivated by her beauty. He had that school boy grin, and you smirked—the teenage boy seems to be challenging your active jealous hormones. She grabbed the tall glass of Mango shake from the counter and turned around. The edges of her dress swayed as the Goddess turned. She had that air of elegance but the kindness and gentleness of her smile made her look like a humble queen. Her hips swayed to a sexy rhythm as she walked. The locals stared and the fisher men's jaws dropped as she walked, smiled and greeted everyone she met.

“Maayong Hapon (Good Afternoon)!”, she greeted the women untangling fishnets by the shore as she passed them by, and they smiled adoringly at her.


You rubbed your sleepy eyes with the back of your hand. You wonder in silence, 'Is it real? Or am I daydreaming?', as the woman walked towards you. As she drew nearer, you smile in awe. She was amazingly beautiful. There was no trace of make-up on her face nor surgery marks, she was all natural—a Goddess, a Queen in her own right.

“You're finally awake, sleepyhead!”, she said, handing you the tall glass of cold Mango shake.

'Those scumbags must be jealous...', you gloated in silence as she sat down beside you and gave you a peck on the cheek.

“Shillang...”, she purred, resting her head on your shoulder.

“Can we go for a swim? It's a beautiful day, and the weather is warm. Please??”, she said intertwining her fingers with yours.

On all four times you came to this place, you were with her. It was your private getaway. Apart from the enticing beauty of this island, you needed her beside you because she was your solace, source of strength and the only woman you will love as much as you love yourself.

The first time you came here was to escape the busy Idol life, so she took you here.

The second time was to think of your future as a solo artist and the offer Bae Yongjoon made, so you asked her to come with you which without second thoughts she agreed with.

The third time was before you entered the army. You want to spend this lifetime with her, so you asked her to join you on that trip and proposed on the very night you arrived, under the twinkling stars beside the bonfire and locals playing Falling Slowly through their ukulele and banjos.

You looked at the golden band on her finger. This is the fourth time you are here with her. Now, you are tied together through that special knot and bond called, marriage.

You smiled thinking, how blissful it would be to come for the fifth, sixth or hundred thousandth time with her.

“Kim Hyunjoong...”, she purred again, giving the sleeve of your shirt a light tug, “Let's go swimming... I promise, there aren't any sharks today...”

You nodded drinking the very sight of her and her intoxicating beauty.

She clapped her hands and smiled like a happy little girl. She quickly tugged on the hem of her dress and took it off in one motion, revealing a very skimpy two piece white bathing suit with a strapless top.

You used to panic every time she had her swim wear on. You wanted to hide her away from those hungry, lusty male eyes, which was always the source of argument for the both of you. She would normally give in after a heated conversation, and you usually ended up giving her a good massage each time to appease the Goddess in her.

This time it was you who chose this skimpy suit. At first, she hesitated and made a fuzz, but you convinced her anyway.

She gave you a tight-lipped smile and shook her head. “I look like a Ursula in those..”, she argued, refusing to wear the suit.

“No you don't!!!”, you retorted, “My wife looks sexy in anything, especially now..”

“It's humiliating wearing that with such a big belly...”, she continued to argue..

You laughed, “That's exactly my point, Buin. Those men should know your somebody's wife, so they better stop looking!! What's wrong with letting everyone know that you're pregnant anyway??”

She smirked then took the white bathing suit with haste..

With a proud smile on your lips, you watch her head to the shoreline.

'Yes, she's pregnant with my child.. and yes, she's off limits punks!!', you wanted to yell at all those men still checking her out and sighing after seeing her six months very pregnant belly.


You felt your cheeks burning when you recalled Jaejoong's reaction.

“Little Kim Hyunjoong actually works!!”, Jaejoong yelled in the studio when you called to tell him your very good news, you could hear the DBSK boys laughing and chanting their congratulations, except Micky who sulked because Noona was still his ideal woman.


You laughed as you remembered that proud moment.

“YAAHHH!!”, Hwangbo called out, “AREN'T YOU JOINING ME?”

You quickly took off your shirt, and ran towards her, “I'm coming, Buin!!!”

IT STARTED WITH A KISS (because I really think it did)


My alter ego paid me a visit today..at work!!! It's never amusing to have Migraine Girl around, so I hope I did this fic some justice. It was supposed to be just 100 words (a sorta challenge for the wordy me), but I guess I had the hardest time finding words for this.

Tell me what you think. Uhm, I wish the anon commenters left their names, well at least a hint of who they are. All comments are welcome anyway (even the hateful once, promise!!)





~*~
No one is entirely sure how things happened, except him and her.

No, it did not start after the 100th day wedding pictorial as some of the people suspected, and it definitely did not spark in Japan.

Although feelings began to grow somewhere between takes, neither him nor her had the courage to make the slightest move.

The woman put up the thickest walls from the very start, and the man was an icy, glum person who had no idea how to express his emotions.

It was a beginning only the two of them knew.

It was not a magical day. It was nerve wracking and emotionally exhausting. The tension and anxiety grew stronger as the minutes passed. Their final decision was to be made.

The production team decided to hold a farewell episode to make sure each artist participating in the reality show was happy enough to continue on with their so-called married life. They have been criticized to promote divorce on national television when they decided to do this, but it would be much worse to keep fooling the viewers with unhappy couples in the show.

The production team was certain Crown J and Inyoung, and Shinae and Alex will continue. Both couples have expressed it multiple times during the filming of the farewell episode. But Andy and Solbi, and Hyunjoong and Hwangbo seemed unsure. Many of the production staff made a bet, they said it was sure that the Ssangchu couple will leave the show. Jung PD was sad that the staff felt that way. That couple had been pulling in more and more viewers each week, but if they were not happy doing this, she felt it would be better to have them exit the show.

The couples sat nervously. Hwangbo kept fidgeting, and Hyunjoong was expressionless.

“Saranghamnida..”, the words kept ringing in his ears.

He said he has only said those words less than 20 times in his life, but he said it.

“Saranghamnida”, she could not believe he said it, too.

Alex and Shinae, Crown J and Inyoung, and unexpectedly Hyunjoong and Hwangbo will continue in We Got Married.

The entire crew, the audience and the couples grew quiet as Solbi started to break down on her seat. It was a mutual decision, but neither Andy nor Solbi were ready to let go.

That was the something Hwangbo had been fearing. She went to console her friend together with the rest of the ladies.

“Kenchanayo..”, she kept saying to Solbi and to herself, too, but the words Hyunjoong said during his black room interview had not sunk in entirely yet.

When she headed back inside her dressing room, it finally dawned upon her. Somehow her fears of never seeing him again dissipated, the longing for utterly four dimensional talks vanquished when he said those words, “Saranghamnida”.

She opened the white cabinet absent-mindedly, questions and random thoughts filling her brain. She stood there still unable to wrap her head around his words and the events that will come in her life with the Ssangchu couple still continuing on the show.

She had not noticed someone clearing his throat after closing the door.

“Bu-in..”, he said her pet name softly, but she seemed lost in her thoughts.

“Buin!”, he said again, louder this time and more stern.

She almost jumped when she heard that familiar voice.

Hwangbo quickly turned around.

All the while, she thought he had left the building already. She was trying to avoid him after the taping. Suddenly feeling shy for being selfish and wanting to spend more time with him, she skirted away from him, making comforting Solbi and Andy an excuse.

“I thought you left..”, she quickly said avoiding his eyes. She fidgeted even more, opening then closing the cabinet door behind her.

“I was waiting for you..” Hyunjoong said, his tone was serious, his eyes intently watching her every move.

'He was waiting for me?', she asked herself.

'Wae?', she wanted to ask him, but she did not want to burst the invisible happy pink bubbles floating around in the room.

Hwangbo looked everywhere just to try and avoid his gaze.

He took one step closer, then another one—entirely moving on impulse. Taking two or three more steps, he finally covered the distance between them.

Her heart was pounding wildly. His scent, his warmth, his closeness was making her float on air.

She tried to step away before her walls and defenses start to crumble, but he trapped her in his arms, in his warm, soft embrace that melted her ability to think and react.

In the past, she would have pushed him away easily. But being trapped inside Hyunjoong's arms was addicting, she wanted to be inside his embrace forever.

“Komapta..”, he whispered in her ear.

She put her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away, “What for?”

He did not speak, he just dipped his head forward and let his lips brush hers. His lips glided ever so gently on hers—slow but steady.

Now was the time to push him away, but she did not.

Instead, Hwangbo opened her mouth as if entirely accepting his gentle, persuasive kisses.

He would have stopped if she pushed him away, but she responded to his kisses.

She let him lead, finally accepting her surrender. This man-child has done wonders to her. He seemed to have uncovered all things she has hidden or concealed from the rest of the world.

His slow kisses had become more provocative, more sensual, hungrier.

It shocked her that he stopped before things could have gone further out of hand.

“Komapta..”, he said again when they were able to catch their breaths.

For the first time in the months they have acted as a married couple, she looked into his eyes, “For what?”

He smiled, his boyish grin melting the steal case she put her heart in to.

“For choosing to stay even when you had the opportunity to walk away. For not giving up and putting up with me. For staying no matter how hard it must be for you and those anti fans--”

She quickly silenced him, “Saranghamnida..”, she said.

She tiptoed and planted her lips on his. Another round of the sweet, succulent kiss.

Finally, she broke free from his hungry kisses and rested her cheek on his chest.

Hyunjoong tightened his embrace, “Komapta.. and na do..but I think I love you more, Hwangbo Hyejung..”

“Your kisses..”, Hwangbo said, “They can be addicting you know...”, she continued, her cheeks burning.
~*~
And oh Bee, advance Happy 30th Birthday!! I turned myself pink for you!!

Mianhe, I couldn't do the Island Getaway fic, too difficult..too pervy..

So, this is for you, from Migraine Girl and THE Bruha.

Ain't I the sweetest evil sole sis evah??! No offense Pam...Nyahahahhaha...

Jaded

The nosy, kill joy, anti social people in the office should be banned from all social networking sites!! Grr!! Now, I have no access to Twitter, Facebook, Chatango, h.ell even the Shoutmix in my blog!! It's not like it's affecting our work!!! But oh well, here.. Some jabberwocky--a diversion for me and my deep loathing for that busybody!!


THIS ONE SUCKS!! BELIEVE ME!!
~*~


In a matter of minutes, twilight will come. Soon the cold darkness will engulf this city. But soon streets will come alive with the glow of man made lights.

It had been raining for days and days now. Although the lightning and thunders have stopped, the rain continued to shower without signs of stopping nor hints of slowing down.

He sat on the couch that faced the tall glass windows overlooking the city. Buses, trains, cars, people, buildings, houses are all he sees. From where he sat, it all seemed like he did not exist. From where he was, it seemed like he was a million light years away from the rest of the world. It seemed like he was disconnected from it all.

The rain continued to pour, and he continued to submerge himself neck deep in melancholy and reverie. There was a certain peace in his new found loneliness. His dim, cold apartment was like a deserted island within the busy city of Seoul. The peace and happiness he found in Cebu seemed to fleet as quickly as a bullet train because when he came back to Seoul, he realized he was back to reality-no more blinding morning sun, no more mango juice, no more chicken served with rice, no more morning swim, no more island hopping, no more basking in the sun like a little boy. When he stepped on Korea's soil, he knew there was a reality and a news-hungry mob he had to face alone. It was not an easy decision to make, but he had to step up, put himself on the line, and rise above all adversities

He stood up, walked towards the glass windows. He touched the cold surface, wrote his name, and watched as the moisture and droplets slowly erase the markings, slowly erasing his name. His whole body shivered just thinking about it. He loved his job, but he knew it won't last forever, that he won't be Kim Hyunjoong forever, and soon, he would fade away as every star will soon lose it's light.


He touched the glass again. SS501, he wrote. They were his brothers, and it hurt him that it had to be this way. He never really wanted to let go of them. They've been through it all and they stuck together, and helped each other overcome every hardship and celebrate every triumph. He was willing to do almost everything for them-he got married to save the group from extinction and boost their popularity, and this decision he just made was for them, too.


Attacks on him had been harsher than what he had prepared for. They said he had become greedy for thinking only of himself. They said it was his fault that's why Double S was in the verge of breaking up. They said he was a monster for fame and money. Sometimes, he asks himself, are they really fans? Because at this time and point in his life, it did not seem like they were. And, that disheartens him. It was like fighting a battle that he had already lost.

As he stared blankly ahead at the gray, heavy clouds, a name popped inside his head. How she endured their attacks, he will never know. He wrote her name on the glass, there was a certain warmth and grace in her name that made him smile-a first for the day. Somehow, she gave him reassurance. It made him feel like despite all these, there was a home he could go back to.

~

The silence in the hallway was deafening, the only sound that seemed to echo and bounced on the white walls was the sound of her labored breathing and the rapid beating of her heart.


She ran seven flights of stairs, and her leg muscles tightened, like she was about to have cramps. She pulled the beanie that Brian gave her from her head, and shook off the water droplets on her trench coat.

She reached for the key in her pocket and twisted the knob. She slipped inside quietly.


Her heart was sent crashing to the floor, shattering it to a million pieces when she saw his back.

From where she stood, she could see his pain and distress. She walked towards him. She knew there was not much she could do to alleviate the pain and the hardships he was going through. She wished she could take half of his pain, but their life was no movie nor was it a fairy tale.

~

He felt someone hug him from behind, he could feel her hart pounding. He smiled. The warmth she provided him was like the sudden burst of sunshine after the cold, harsh rains.

Hey, you!”, he whispered. He untangled her arms from his upper body and tuned around to face her.


He smiled at her, “You're drenched!”

He looked deep into her eyes that were filled with worry. He looked away, then started to walk. “Lemme get you a towel..”, he said.

I'm fine... Just lemme catch my breath and don't let Yongjun Oppa catch me here.. ”, she laughed. They had been warned by Bae Yongjun to stay away from each other until the netizens and anti fans keep quiet. It was bad enough that Hyunjoong was being grilled, if they were seen together, Hyejung might be blamed for everything even if she has nothing to do with anything that's going on.

She grabbed his arm, “But, are you? Are you okay Hyunjoong?”

He turned to look at her, he raised his hand to wipe the water that trailed from her wet hair to her forehead. He looked into her cat-like eyes and wished he was lost in it forever. Somehow, her being here made him feel safe and secure. No matter how deep the wounds the rest of the world was causing him, it did not matter anymore.


She wrinkled her nose, suddenly conscious as his gaze wandered on every corner of her face.

He pulled her closer and imprisoned her in his tight embrace. She seemed so small and fragile against him. 'How was this woman able to endure the anti fans?', he wondered.

'They must have hurt her so badly', he thought. And for that he was sorry because he caused her pain, because the anti fans must have done the same things to her.

Are you okay?”, she asked again, worried.

He let out a deep sigh, “Mianhe...”

What for?”, she pulled away from his tight embrace.

Just because..”, he answered, admiring her strength to have endured it all. Hyunjoong realized how much he needed her because he loved her so much. “Stay with me always Hyejung, please?”

She watched him curiously, “Of course! Where do you think I'd wander off to?”

She snuggled inside his embrace again. He could breath easy now. Everything is going to be alright, he was jaded no more.