i now declare jung yonghwa as the hottest korean vocalist evah!!!!
hwangbo on twitter
so yeah, i tried reviving my half dead twitter account because of my love for hwangbo unnie..
i tweeted her because i've been meaning and dying to ask her a question.
and my golly, she replied after 4 minutes....
and yeah, i can sleep with a bright smile on my face now....
i tweeted her because i've been meaning and dying to ask her a question.
and my golly, she replied after 4 minutes....
and yeah, i can sleep with a bright smile on my face now....
crack!!
did you just hear my heart breaking?
yonghwa stop breaking my fangirl heart, will you?
screen caps from the latest WGM couple:
NOTE: I STILL THINK THE HYUNJOONG/HWANGBO COUPLE WAS THE BEST EVER IN WGM HISTORY!!!! BRING THEM BACK!!!!
yonghwa stop breaking my fangirl heart, will you?
screen caps from the latest WGM couple:
NOTE: I STILL THINK THE HYUNJOONG/HWANGBO COUPLE WAS THE BEST EVER IN WGM HISTORY!!!! BRING THEM BACK!!!!
my yunho!!!!
---->you make me proud uknow yunho!!!!
TVXQ’s Yunho to train in Los Angeles for Michael Jackson tribute concert
from allkpop
It’s been reported that Yunho of TVXQ will be part of the Korea leg of the posthumous concert This Is It dedicated to legendary icon Michael Jackson. Of course, for this concert, Yunho can’t stay in Korea / Japan for TVXQ promotions and will be heading to the United States!
Set to leave for Los Angeles in March, he will improve on his singing and dancing while working with the “This Is It” team. Yunho will work closely with Bashiri Johnson, Maurice Pledger and Judith Hill for his training.
A representative of the concert said,
“For the concert, every member who was set to perform the 2010 This Is It World Tour that was set to launch on July 7th in London will be performing here. There are plans for the Korean singer Yunho to be part of the concert and present a Michael Jackson performance.”
After Yunho’s American training, he will return to Korea and perform on March 27th and 28th at the Korean War Memorial in Yongsan, Seoul.
The representative also said,
“It is a well known fact that Yunho is a huge fan of Michael Jackson and even wrote a blog entry when Michael passed away saying that Michael Jackson was his sole inspiration. Yunho is already a big star that has captured Asia and is also a Michael Jackson fan so we are confident that he will be a great addition to the concert.”
It’s gratifying to see Yunho receiving the opportunity to participate in a tribute concert to one of his idols, and I’m sure many Los Angeles fans are excited for this young star’s upcoming visit to America. Tickets go on sale on March 2nd; stay tuned to allkpop for more details!
TVXQ’s Yunho to train in Los Angeles for Michael Jackson tribute concert
from allkpop
It’s been reported that Yunho of TVXQ will be part of the Korea leg of the posthumous concert This Is It dedicated to legendary icon Michael Jackson. Of course, for this concert, Yunho can’t stay in Korea / Japan for TVXQ promotions and will be heading to the United States!
Set to leave for Los Angeles in March, he will improve on his singing and dancing while working with the “This Is It” team. Yunho will work closely with Bashiri Johnson, Maurice Pledger and Judith Hill for his training.
A representative of the concert said,
“For the concert, every member who was set to perform the 2010 This Is It World Tour that was set to launch on July 7th in London will be performing here. There are plans for the Korean singer Yunho to be part of the concert and present a Michael Jackson performance.”
After Yunho’s American training, he will return to Korea and perform on March 27th and 28th at the Korean War Memorial in Yongsan, Seoul.
The representative also said,
“It is a well known fact that Yunho is a huge fan of Michael Jackson and even wrote a blog entry when Michael passed away saying that Michael Jackson was his sole inspiration. Yunho is already a big star that has captured Asia and is also a Michael Jackson fan so we are confident that he will be a great addition to the concert.”
It’s gratifying to see Yunho receiving the opportunity to participate in a tribute concert to one of his idols, and I’m sure many Los Angeles fans are excited for this young star’s upcoming visit to America. Tickets go on sale on March 2nd; stay tuned to allkpop for more details!
Fate and Crossroads: Ten
previous chapter/s:
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
author's note: and so it ends...anyway, hope y'all like it...
---------------------------------------------
Ten.
The sun has barely broken free from the dark night skies. Only a faint light from the evening lamp illuminated the dark room. The heaving sound of Hyunjoong's breath was the only audible sound filling the entire suite. Even in his sleep, he looked beautiful.
Hwangbo wondered how he still had that effect on her. It seemed hard for her to breathe when he is around, and there was an overwhelming feeling of excitement in her heart, like all the pain and worries dissipate, and happy bubbles start to form around her. She was beginning to wonder if that was love as she sat on the chair just beside the bed, contemplating in the placid darkness.
Although he was still half asleep, Hyunjoong could feel a pair of eyes watching him. It felt warm and safe, not the kind that creeps him out. He stirred a bit and stretched his limbs. He felt dead tired after what transpired last night, like all his energy and the life left inside him crept out of his body. But the most important thing now is the fact that she knew he was sorry and she knew that he will always and maybe forever love her, or maybe he will continue to love her twice as much. He began to open his eyes and saw the feminine silhouette sitting on the chair beside the bed. It was a fantastic sight to behold, like the moon goddess' apparition. His heart thumped in a happy rhythm. He knew it was her, it was Hwangbo. There was no need for lights for him to recognize Hwangbo. He knew every corner of her face, every curve of her body, every line, everything. He quietly rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat on the bed.
She was not smiling, her face was expressionless. And that sight scared him, because she had always been so easy to read.
She cleared her throat, "What you said last night---"
Hyunjoong panicked, "What I said last night, they were all true. You know I am not good with words, but they were all true". He looked at her, his eyes were begging for him to believe him, just this once.
She looked down, the pain in his eyes were too much for her to bear. The momentary silence grew heavy, and painted an unfinished picture between them, an incomplete story of Kim Hyunjoong and Hwangbo Hyejung. She looked at him again, gazed deep into his eyes and let out a sigh. "What you said last night, I thought about it.", she said letting her words hang in the air.
The pauses she took seemed like an eternity for Hyunjoong. His heart was pounding like mad, and his breathing was sharp.
"This is not easy for me to do because it feels like I'm breaking all my rules and defying all my inhibitions. But if I do not this, I might regret things and continue to ask questions and continue to blame myself, and I'm tired of doing all those.", she took another moment to gather her thoughts.
"What I am saying is, I'm opening my heart to you again. So, please do not break it again. Do not leave it half dead. If you decide to stop loving me or if you realize one day that what you feel is not love, tell me. Do not leave me to ask questions. Do not let me blame myself again. Do not leave me high and dry.", her voice croaked as she said her piece, tears flowing from her puffy eyes.
Hyunjoong shook his head. "I'm never going to do that again, Hyejung. Never. I promise..."
Hwangbo cut him off, "No, please do not make any promises. I also want you to know that things have changed me a lot. I find it hard to trust... to trust you again, so it's up to you"
He nodded. He understood. "I understand, and I will make it up to you, so that you can learn to trust me again."
Hwangbo smiled weakly at him. Hyunjoong stood up from the bed and approached her. He caressed her face in the gentlest, most loving way. She shivered at his touch, then took his hand and squeezed it lightly.
Hwangbo stood up and started pacing towards the door. She looked back at him. "I'm going back to Seoul now", she told him.
He nodded, "I will win back your heart Hyejung"
Hwangbo turned to leave, but Hyunjoong spoke again, "Can I hug you, Buin?"
She turned around to face him, and nodded. All it took were two long strides to close the gap between them. Hyunjoong wrapped his arms around her small frame. He could feel her heart beating. He could smell the minty scent of her hair. She was still warm and soft under his touch. Everything was real, and now, everything made sense. They were like two jigsaw puzzles that fit perfectly in each other's arms. That moment was theirs, finally, because it was their fate to be with each other. They held each other and it seemed like time finally stopped.
Hwangbo pushed him away gently, "I have to go now. My manager is waiting for me."
She started to walk towards the door, but she stopped midway and looked back, "I'll see you in Seoul", and she smiled. A happy smile, one without pain, without sadness, one that has meaning, one that emits aura of happiness and glee.
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
author's note: and so it ends...anyway, hope y'all like it...
---------------------------------------------
Ten.
The sun has barely broken free from the dark night skies. Only a faint light from the evening lamp illuminated the dark room. The heaving sound of Hyunjoong's breath was the only audible sound filling the entire suite. Even in his sleep, he looked beautiful.
Hwangbo wondered how he still had that effect on her. It seemed hard for her to breathe when he is around, and there was an overwhelming feeling of excitement in her heart, like all the pain and worries dissipate, and happy bubbles start to form around her. She was beginning to wonder if that was love as she sat on the chair just beside the bed, contemplating in the placid darkness.
Although he was still half asleep, Hyunjoong could feel a pair of eyes watching him. It felt warm and safe, not the kind that creeps him out. He stirred a bit and stretched his limbs. He felt dead tired after what transpired last night, like all his energy and the life left inside him crept out of his body. But the most important thing now is the fact that she knew he was sorry and she knew that he will always and maybe forever love her, or maybe he will continue to love her twice as much. He began to open his eyes and saw the feminine silhouette sitting on the chair beside the bed. It was a fantastic sight to behold, like the moon goddess' apparition. His heart thumped in a happy rhythm. He knew it was her, it was Hwangbo. There was no need for lights for him to recognize Hwangbo. He knew every corner of her face, every curve of her body, every line, everything. He quietly rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat on the bed.
She was not smiling, her face was expressionless. And that sight scared him, because she had always been so easy to read.
She cleared her throat, "What you said last night---"
Hyunjoong panicked, "What I said last night, they were all true. You know I am not good with words, but they were all true". He looked at her, his eyes were begging for him to believe him, just this once.
She looked down, the pain in his eyes were too much for her to bear. The momentary silence grew heavy, and painted an unfinished picture between them, an incomplete story of Kim Hyunjoong and Hwangbo Hyejung. She looked at him again, gazed deep into his eyes and let out a sigh. "What you said last night, I thought about it.", she said letting her words hang in the air.
The pauses she took seemed like an eternity for Hyunjoong. His heart was pounding like mad, and his breathing was sharp.
"This is not easy for me to do because it feels like I'm breaking all my rules and defying all my inhibitions. But if I do not this, I might regret things and continue to ask questions and continue to blame myself, and I'm tired of doing all those.", she took another moment to gather her thoughts.
"What I am saying is, I'm opening my heart to you again. So, please do not break it again. Do not leave it half dead. If you decide to stop loving me or if you realize one day that what you feel is not love, tell me. Do not leave me to ask questions. Do not let me blame myself again. Do not leave me high and dry.", her voice croaked as she said her piece, tears flowing from her puffy eyes.
Hyunjoong shook his head. "I'm never going to do that again, Hyejung. Never. I promise..."
Hwangbo cut him off, "No, please do not make any promises. I also want you to know that things have changed me a lot. I find it hard to trust... to trust you again, so it's up to you"
He nodded. He understood. "I understand, and I will make it up to you, so that you can learn to trust me again."
Hwangbo smiled weakly at him. Hyunjoong stood up from the bed and approached her. He caressed her face in the gentlest, most loving way. She shivered at his touch, then took his hand and squeezed it lightly.
Hwangbo stood up and started pacing towards the door. She looked back at him. "I'm going back to Seoul now", she told him.
He nodded, "I will win back your heart Hyejung"
Hwangbo turned to leave, but Hyunjoong spoke again, "Can I hug you, Buin?"
She turned around to face him, and nodded. All it took were two long strides to close the gap between them. Hyunjoong wrapped his arms around her small frame. He could feel her heart beating. He could smell the minty scent of her hair. She was still warm and soft under his touch. Everything was real, and now, everything made sense. They were like two jigsaw puzzles that fit perfectly in each other's arms. That moment was theirs, finally, because it was their fate to be with each other. They held each other and it seemed like time finally stopped.
Hwangbo pushed him away gently, "I have to go now. My manager is waiting for me."
She started to walk towards the door, but she stopped midway and looked back, "I'll see you in Seoul", and she smiled. A happy smile, one without pain, without sadness, one that has meaning, one that emits aura of happiness and glee.
one.two.three.four.five.six.seven night....
can't get enough of CNBLUE!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaah!!!!
yonghwa and the basist guy are so d.amn hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yt+codeazurro
yonghwa and the basist guy are so d.amn hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yt+codeazurro
Fate and Crossroads: Prologue
previous chapter/s:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
author's note: hitting myself on the head...so the prologue came almost at the end of the fic...hahahaha...yeah, i'm crazy like that...pasensya!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Prologue:
Hwangbo.
She sat alone on her veranda quietly observing the rain’s pitter-patter. She never really imagined that she would be so devastated and pained. She hated those I-told-you-so moments, and she was done pretending she was not hurt by Hyunjoong’s sudden disappearance. She took a deep breath and exhaled with a loud sigh. It’s final. She has decided. She was taking Song Euni’s advice to just move on and pretend it never happened. It was clearly not meant to be anyway. She knew she should not have expected too much from a young idol, but she blindly jumped off the cliff to experience what seemed to be the greatest and death-defying free fall of her life.
They perfectly fit each other, and boy, was she happy to be with him. Just receiving a smiley text message from him sent butterflies to her stomach. And when he suddenly disappeared and left her mid-air, she got confused. Many questions popped inside her brain. In the end, she started blaming herself. Maybe she was too uptight. Maybe she was too clingy. Maybe she was choking him. Maybe he just was not into her. So many theories, not one was ever confirmed.
She smirked just thinking about it now. Her head ached when she thought about it, and her heart winced in pain when she was reminded of him.
It was a good thing she has not seen him since, who knows what riot it would have done on her poor nerves to see Kim Hyunjoong again.
Hyunjoong.
He crashed on Jaejoong’s couch that night. He had been avoiding his members’ questions about Hwangbo. He knew he was at fault and deserves to be grilled, but not now, he thought. Now, he was tired, exhausted, half dead.
He closed his eyes. At first, there was only darkness, but after a few seconds, a face surfaced. A face of an angel, his angel. She was the angel he left high and dry. Hwangbo’s smile always seemed to ease the pressure, the tension he was feeling, but he suddenly felt fear. She was someone he needed and wanted at the same time. Time passed between them, the closer he got to know her the deeper he plunged. He felt something for her, but he was unsure. His fear rose above his feelings for her. It was something he never felt before. He used to be okay being independent, but now that he was with her, everything depended on her. It seemed like his whole world revolved around her. And, that was something he was not used to, something he was not familiar with.
Jaejoong threw a pillow that landed on Hyunjoong’s face, knocking off his breathing for a second.
“Yah!! What was that for??”, SS501’s leader shouted.
“That was for Hwangbo Noona!!”, his friend answered, “This one’s for being a jerk”, he added throwing another pillow on his direction.
This time Hyunjoong docked and successfully avoided the pillow. He fell silent.
“She asked me about you earlier, and I had to lie for you, d.ammi.t! I had to lie for you! I had to lie to Hwangbo Noona that you were busy!!! The other day, I said you were in Japan…”, Jaejoong said as he sat beside his friend.
“Dude, she was devastated. She walked out of the dressing room like she was about to cry. Hyunjoong, the rest of South Korea’s Showbiz Industry was there!! They saw the expression on her face. How long are you gonna do this to her, huh?”, Jaejoong stood up and walked to his bedroom. “You better sort things out soon, Hyunjoong.”
The silence was deafening when Hyunjoong was left alone. Thoughts swarmed his head. He should not have left her like that, but he could not undo what he did. His indecision and fear of the unknown and what’s to come got the best of him.
He closed his eyes again feeling his pain and realized that her pain must have been double or triple even. But his fear was greater, far greater than he had imagined. He let his fear rule over his very being.
And, so both their heartaches continue.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
author's note: hitting myself on the head...so the prologue came almost at the end of the fic...hahahaha...yeah, i'm crazy like that...pasensya!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Prologue:
Hwangbo.
She sat alone on her veranda quietly observing the rain’s pitter-patter. She never really imagined that she would be so devastated and pained. She hated those I-told-you-so moments, and she was done pretending she was not hurt by Hyunjoong’s sudden disappearance. She took a deep breath and exhaled with a loud sigh. It’s final. She has decided. She was taking Song Euni’s advice to just move on and pretend it never happened. It was clearly not meant to be anyway. She knew she should not have expected too much from a young idol, but she blindly jumped off the cliff to experience what seemed to be the greatest and death-defying free fall of her life.
They perfectly fit each other, and boy, was she happy to be with him. Just receiving a smiley text message from him sent butterflies to her stomach. And when he suddenly disappeared and left her mid-air, she got confused. Many questions popped inside her brain. In the end, she started blaming herself. Maybe she was too uptight. Maybe she was too clingy. Maybe she was choking him. Maybe he just was not into her. So many theories, not one was ever confirmed.
She smirked just thinking about it now. Her head ached when she thought about it, and her heart winced in pain when she was reminded of him.
It was a good thing she has not seen him since, who knows what riot it would have done on her poor nerves to see Kim Hyunjoong again.
Hyunjoong.
He crashed on Jaejoong’s couch that night. He had been avoiding his members’ questions about Hwangbo. He knew he was at fault and deserves to be grilled, but not now, he thought. Now, he was tired, exhausted, half dead.
He closed his eyes. At first, there was only darkness, but after a few seconds, a face surfaced. A face of an angel, his angel. She was the angel he left high and dry. Hwangbo’s smile always seemed to ease the pressure, the tension he was feeling, but he suddenly felt fear. She was someone he needed and wanted at the same time. Time passed between them, the closer he got to know her the deeper he plunged. He felt something for her, but he was unsure. His fear rose above his feelings for her. It was something he never felt before. He used to be okay being independent, but now that he was with her, everything depended on her. It seemed like his whole world revolved around her. And, that was something he was not used to, something he was not familiar with.
Jaejoong threw a pillow that landed on Hyunjoong’s face, knocking off his breathing for a second.
“Yah!! What was that for??”, SS501’s leader shouted.
“That was for Hwangbo Noona!!”, his friend answered, “This one’s for being a jerk”, he added throwing another pillow on his direction.
This time Hyunjoong docked and successfully avoided the pillow. He fell silent.
“She asked me about you earlier, and I had to lie for you, d.ammi.t! I had to lie for you! I had to lie to Hwangbo Noona that you were busy!!! The other day, I said you were in Japan…”, Jaejoong said as he sat beside his friend.
“Dude, she was devastated. She walked out of the dressing room like she was about to cry. Hyunjoong, the rest of South Korea’s Showbiz Industry was there!! They saw the expression on her face. How long are you gonna do this to her, huh?”, Jaejoong stood up and walked to his bedroom. “You better sort things out soon, Hyunjoong.”
The silence was deafening when Hyunjoong was left alone. Thoughts swarmed his head. He should not have left her like that, but he could not undo what he did. His indecision and fear of the unknown and what’s to come got the best of him.
He closed his eyes again feeling his pain and realized that her pain must have been double or triple even. But his fear was greater, far greater than he had imagined. He let his fear rule over his very being.
And, so both their heartaches continue.
currently thinking twice...........LOL
now, i've always said time and again that i am not a Kim Hyun Joong fan. if not for We Got Married, i wouldn't look at him twice, but i have to admit his uber cuteness is overflowing in this CF teaser....
here's a screen shot:
awwww.... soooo cute!!!!!
here's a screen shot:
awwww.... soooo cute!!!!!
i officially LOVE....
Seungho of MBLAQ....hahahaha...
but why the sudden change of mind? will someone get angry? did that someone warn you?
is that someone rain? or is it shillang, kim hyunjoong?
but why the sudden change of mind? will someone get angry? did that someone warn you?
is that someone rain? or is it shillang, kim hyunjoong?
Tik Tok Music Drama (Cass Beer)
i just had to post this....
i soooo love nichkhun(even if i have the hardest time spelling his name) and eun hye..
i soooo love nichkhun(even if i have the hardest time spelling his name) and eun hye..
Set You Free
author's note: ahhhh, Yunho's heart is broken here....sorry, Yunho shippers!!!!! I am quite angry at myself for making Yunnie sad here.....
and ah, side A. i love side A. too bad i didn't get to see them perform when they came. **runs to punch boss' nose.. smirks... it hurt, right b.itch??**
back to the topic, YUNHO!!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
The world spun out of control as you try to sit up straight on the tall narrow stool by the bar. That's when you knew you were drunk. It was a first since you never drank that much or never get drunk at all on a Wednesday night, but you had every excuse to drown yourself in booze, spirits and wine this Wednesday night. You got your heart broken, although it has stayed broken for a long time, tonight it felt like it has been stomped on by an angry mob, ran over by a 10 wheeler truck and left for dead. Roadkill! You did something outrageously stupid tonight, but you had to do it, so that you could move on and never look back. It was perhaps the hardest thing you've done in all your 24 years on earth. Your lips started to twitch in a sardonic smile. Smiling at your misfortune was all you could do.
"Hyung!! How long have I been here??", you asked the bartender whom you have befriended since your trainee days.
"I don't know, dude. Didn't you open the bar for me today?", he quipped. As a bartender, he has seen all sorts of people seeking refuge in alcohol and nicotine overdose even just for a night, and Jung Yunho was one of them this evening. 'Matters of the heart...', he guessed when you came knocking on the resto bar's then closed gates. He has known the you for a long time, and has taken notice that there were only three reasons for you to come drinking in his bar: success at work, family related troubles and Hwangbo Hyejung-perhaps the only woman you were crazy about.
"Yeah, I did...", you smiled like a mad man. "Thanks, Hyung. I really needed this.. Badly, terribly", you continued mumbling.
"Don't mention it. Just take it easy on the hard drinks, will you?", he reminded you.
"Oh c'mon! Don't be a s.ourpus.s! Hmmmm... Give me a shot.. No, two shots of whiskey!!", you sputtered in your alcohol induced state.
When the other man did not respond to your request, you raised your voice an decibel higher, "Please... Please Hyung before Duck Tales come for me. I know you called them already...", you said referring to the rest of DBSK.
"Ahhh, whatever!", the man said.
You swallowed the bitter liquor without much reaction showing on your face. You look around for traces of people, but there were only a few patrons tonight and you thank God for that. You take in a deep breath filling your lungs with as much oxygen as you can, then exhaled focusing on the small stage where a band was doing last minute sound check. You nodded to acknowledge the man holding the acoustic guitar. He was someone you knew from the area you grew up in. He smiled right back at you.
"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen", the lead vocalist said over his microphone, "We're Fusion. We hope you enjoy our set tonight."
The band hit the opening notes of the song, and you, once again, drown in your pain.
"Hyung", Changmin whispered behind you.
"Ahhhh, Huey! You finally came! I've been waiting for you. Wait, where's Louie, Dewey and Uncle Scrooge?", you swerved as you tried to face the maknae of the group.
"Louie, Dewey and Uncle Scrooge!!! Don't you know who they are?", you asked completely intoxicated.
Changmin shook his confused head.
"You are Huey, Micky is Dewey, Junsu is Louie, and Jaejoong is Uncle Scrooge, together you are DuckTales", you loudly laughed at your own joke.
Changmin was still confused, but he just scoffed and sat beside you, "They are coming, I live near here, so I got here first. Anyway, so, you said goodbye to Noona?"
"Yip!", you answered almost immediately, then gulped another big portion of your 6th bottle of beer.
"What did she say?", he continued asking taking the dark brown bottle from your hand.
"I don't know", you answered bluntly after signaling the bartender for another one. "She was asleep."
"Oh." was all the maknae could say.
You did not want to remember, but the memories came banging on the steel gates of your brain.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You painfully recalled the moment you vowed to yourself that you would never allow her to cry nor get hurt again as long as you were alive.
It was a beautiful spring day when it happened. You were driving your new sleek Porsche 911 turbo when you passed a familiar face on the street. Her face was distraught and her eyeliner and mascara were smudged around her eyes proof enough that she has been crying. You stop the car because your heart knew who it was.
She did not even notice the flashy car infront of her, she was too caught up in her own troubles to notice, and so you roll down the heavily tinted window.
"Noona!", you called out, but she did not seem to hear.
You went out of the car and called her again. This time she looked at you, and tears started to flooding down her cheeks, then she flung her arms around your neck, and cried in your arms without saying a word. The both of you stayed that way for a couple of minutes. In those very brief minutes, you felt your heart being crushed. You felt her pain and you did not even know the reason for her tears. You knew you should have pushed her away, but how can you push away Hwangbo Hyejung-the woman you'll always love maybe even until the next life. She was dangerously too close, too close that you can hear the rapid thudding of her heart. You close your eyes and hug her tighter trying to comfort her, and in a way, trying to ease your pained heart at the sight of her devastation.
It was not until she was inside your car that she finally spoke.
"I broke up with him", she said in between muffled sobs.
"Hyunjoong?", you found the courage to say the name of the b.astard who stole her away and the cause of her present misery.
She nodded unable to look at you.
"Why?", you asked staring blankly at the steering wheel as you grip it tighter bracing yourself for her answer.
"Because..."she muffled more sobs, "Because it's getting harder for him. He's at his peak, and he can do more, but I'm tying him down."
You stayed quiet for a moment, looking for something to punch as you saw the pain in her eyes through her reflection.
"And he let you go?", you asked, emotionless.
"I walked away from him, Yunnie", she answered, calling you like that as she always did in private.
You gritted your teeth. It hurt that she was calling you Yunnie because it only meant that she'll forever see you as her dongsaeng.
"Well, he's an a.sshol.e for letting you walk away, Noona.", you whispered.
A small smile twitched on her lips as she wiped her tears, "I don't know why Yunnie, but I always seem to bump into you when I get my heart broken, remember the last time?"
And, how could you forget? That was way back your debut days, but you still remember how painful it was to see her crying in the dressing room after her eight year relationship ended. You nodded in response.
Her smile widened as she turned to you after wiping her tears, "Well, thank you so much, Yunnie. You've always been a dear friend". She started opening the door, but you grab her arm on impulse.
"No, don't go. Let's do something fun to make you forget. Alright, Noona?", before she could answer, you sped off and drove away.
A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break-up of a significant love relationship - something you promised you'll never be in, but that is exactly what you are getting yourself into now. A rebound relationship, no matter how hard it may be, is something you wish for now because desperate times call for desperate measures, and you promised yourself that you will protect her and her battered heart.
A week flew by quickly, and you've become closer to Hyejung, and unknowingly falling harder for her, too. She was able to laugh again now, and it was all because of you. Now, more than ever, you were determined to pursue her even if you knew she was not in love with you. Not yet, you hoped.
You put off a week's work to be with her. All you wanted was to make sure a sad tear will never escape her lovely eyes. Changmin, despite his young age, strongly warned you about this and the effects if it does not work out. Junsu was not too happy, either. Jaejoong hated the idea, but he tried being neutral because Hyunjoong was his friend, too. Micky, being another Hyejung admirer, thought it was stupid for Hyunjoong to let her walk out, but they were friends, too, just like you were his friend, so he stayed out of it.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Hyung, I hate to say this, but---", Changmin started
You finish it for him, "You told me so.. Yeah, yeah. Can't you just be a good friend and wallow in my pain with me? Besides, you're too young to be a Love Guru.", you joked, but Changmin was not smiling. He was worried about you because he has never seen you like this.
Junsu arrived, and you just greeted him with your drunken smile. He was no mind reader, but he understood the reason why there were 7 empty bottles infront of you as you drained another one. He knew of your plan to give up, and he expected this to happen, but not this soon.
The three of you sat in silence pretending to listen to the band until Junsu cleared his throat and spoke, "Did you tell her you love her?"
You laughed then shook your head.
"You went that far, but you did not tell her? You're a greater fool than I thought you are. Maybe even a greater fool than Hyunjoong", Junsu said, obviously frustrated at you.
You drowned another drink before speaking, "Well, at least the other great fool is probably wrapping his arms tightly around the woman of our dreams at this very moment"
You laughed at your misery.
"Huh, what do you mean?", Changmin asked breaking his long silence.
"I called Hyunjoong before leaving Noona in Pusan. I told him where she was.", you smiled bitterly
"You did what?", Changmin gasped.
"You heard me right, Huey.", you answered
"But why?!"
This was something you could not bring yourself to admit, but you had too. "Because she is still inlove with him. She loves him so much that even I can feel it. She loves him and that hurts me more than I ever thought it would because it means there is no place left in her heart for me. NONE FOR ME..."
Changmin and Junsu could see the pain in your eyes. Junsu put his hand on your shoulder as if saying it's going to be alright. There were things and words between friends that need not be said.
"I want her to be happy. I want her to smile without seeing the shadow and pain in her eyes, and there is only one person who could bring her such joy.", you closed her eyes.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There were moments when Hyejung zoned out and you knew she was stuck in his 4D world. You can see it in her eyes, in the smile she fakes. You can see it when her fingers linger on his things he left inside her apartment. Although, she does not say it, you know she is still waiting for the day they might be together again, but you held on to her and to the foolish hope that she'll see you as the Yunho who loves her probably more than Hyunjoong ever will.
You walked on the beach with her one day, and you bravely asked her a question to appease the loud protests in your heart. "Noona, do you still love him? Hyunjoong?"
Her answer would determine the next route that you will take. Fight or flight. You were ready to fight, but her answer was screaming, flight, even if she does not say a word. She looked deep in your eyes that afternoon, and the silent tears she shed was her answer. And so, you flight.
You give her a smile to drown the loud shrilling sound of your heart breaking, "Can I hug you, Noona?" 'For the last time?', you added in your thoughts.
When she nodded, you took her in your warm embrace. And try to take note of how her hair smelled, her sweet softness, her fragile frame, you take notice of everything about her one last time.
She fell asleep on your shoulder that evening. The miserable overly exhausted Hyejung slept like an angel.
You cussed at yourself and at fate’s cruelty. Perhaps, if you were chosen to be her fake husband on the show, you would’ve been given a chance to show her your love. But, it’s too late now. Someone owns her heart, and you could only wish for that someone to take better care of her and love her as much as you do.
You gently touched her cheek. "Loving you is all that means to me, but I want you to be happy. Your happiness is all I wish for. Loving you must mean, I really have to set you free from my heart.", you told her silently. You brushed your lips lightly on her forehead-your first and last kiss, "Be happy, Noona."
With that, you fled the atrocious scene knowing her happiness is on the way to take her back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The pain that washed your whole being finally woke you up from your drunken stupor.
"It'll be fine, dude", a gruff voice said from behind the trio. It was Jaejoong.
"You came this far, you can make it a mile or two further. You've been through a lot Leadersshi, this is something you can overcome. We're still behind you." Micky added as the three of you looked behind them.
"I know this has been said a million times before, but maybe, it was not meant to be. Perhaps, you'll find someone else~~who knows?!", Jaejoong added.
You scoffed, "Maybe..."
You looked at the wall where Polariod pictures of celebrities were pasted and saw one of hers, 'I can set you free, Hwangbo Hyejung.', you quietly urged yourself, 'My heart can set you free........'
His Heart
author's note: i intended to make this a response to Your Laughter, but i don't think it turned out that way. anyway, i was inspired by the poem by Christina Walsh called A Woman to her Lover.
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The cheers of the crowd shook the entire arena. From where Hyejung was, it almost seemed like she would soon drown in a sea of screaming, bright-eyed fangirls who wagged their neon green laser lights and large banners. They soon jumped up and down as they heard the familiar song blaring from the gigantic speakers forming what seemed to be turbulent waves on the angry ocean.
“Sure, I love him and am a big, no, huge fan of the group, but I was never crazy enough to actually watch their shows outside the VIP section”, Bongsun complained. “I can’t even see their faces from the LCD screens..”
Shi Eun tried to wiggle her way out of the group of dancing girls who seemed hungry enough to eat her alive, “Chingu”, she called Hyejung’s attention, they were using secret codes now since they wouldn’t want to be announcing their presence in the concert without bouncers and body guards to stir away the crowd, “Are we trying to get ourselves killed? Murdered perhaps?”, she asked Hyejung who sat in the middle of the group.
“Ani!”, Boram shouted, “Our Chingu here has just adopted a new hobby, she’s just a thrill seeker now”, she complained shoving out a girl infront of her.
But the person they were talking to just stood there peacefully, almost in a daze, almost as wide-eyed as the rest of the fangirls in the 15-25 age bracket. Hyejung has watched a lot of idol group concerts, but she has never felt more alive and ecstatic as now. She always sat at the VIP section with stuck up CEOs, managers, heads of ad agencies and other celebrities hidden away from the crowd. She even wondered if those were the only tickets given to the idols. This decision was done on impulse. She had 4 VIP tickets lying around on top of her coffee table, but then she thought, where’s the fun in that?, before going online to buy 4 lower box tickets.
Now that she’s here, she was satisfied, happy to finally feel what it’s like to watch him from the crowd. She smiled as he took the stage for a solo performance. It was true what she read from a million fan accounts, he is dashing when he takes the stage. His smile could melt every fangirl’s heart, and at that very moment she understood why they were very possessive of him and why they hated on her when he revealed his intention to marry her.
“This is our last song”, Hyungjun announced, and the crowd cheered them on.
Hyejung was still lost in a trance even after their last song, and when the crowd slowly walked towards the stage, she started joining them, but Bongsun was quick to stop her.
“Omo, what are you doing?”, she grabbed Hyejung’s hand and fixed the hood of her sweater to cover her head.
Hyejung gave her friends a shy smile. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away”, she said fixing the face mask to hide her already red cheeks.
“Just remember, I’m never doing this again, well not watching their concert from the lower box at least.”, Boram complained again.
“But it was fun, right? Omo…”, Hyejung’s eyes grew round then touched her stomach.
Shi Eun looked worried, “What’s wrong? You should sit down, no uhm, remain standing…”, she took off Hyejung’s face mask, “Here, breathe…”
“Are you in pain?”, Bongsun, the eldest among the four, remained calm.
“Ani, Ani!”, Hyejung reassured them and then smiled. “I think the baby kicked”, she said touching her 2 month old very pregnant tummy.
“Pabo! The baby does not even have legs yet!” Bongsun replied then sat down beside Hwangbo.
Shi Eun and Boram laughed at Hyejung then started stroking her belly.
“We should go now…”, Hyejung announced after noticing that the arena was almost empty.
“Aren’t we waiting for Hyunjoong and the boys?”, Shi Eun asked her, then raised a brow.
Hyejung did not answer, then toyed with the string of her hoodie.
“Looks like husband does not know wifey’s here to watch his concert..”, Boram whispered loudly.
“No, no, it’s not like that. Well, he uhm….”, Hyejung looked down. “He gave me VIP tickets, but I…I….I wanted to experience watching him with the rest of the crowd and fans. You know the thrill, the loud cheers…”
“I was right.. She has become a thrill seeker since she married Hyunjoong”, Boram rolled her eyes.
“Ah, whatever, I’m never doing this again”, Shi Eun announced, “I have to pee”
Boram stood up, “Me, too” and walked with Shi Eun to the rest room.
“I’m sorry Bongsun Unni”, she apologized.
“I don’t mind coming here with you, really” Bongsun smiled. “I also have to tell you though---that I told Hyunjoong before we came”
“Omo, what? And he agreed?”, Hyejung asked in bewilderment.
“Of course not! Do you think he would feed his pregnant wife to an entire lake of green eyed piranhas?”, Bongsun answered ready to smack Hyejung on the head.
Hyejung was speechless again.
“Do you see that big guy in tight fitting black shirt? And that one there in denim jacket? And that guy in black sunglasses?”, Bongsun pointed them one by one. “He hired them all to look after you.”
“Really?”, she asked smiling brightly again
“He knew you were up to something the other night, so he checked with the ticketing office, and called to tell me his plan”, Bongsun explained.
Hyejung responded with a smile.
“I know you guys are so inlove, a proof is even coming out in 7 months, but why? Why him? Why a superstar idol who is 6 years younger than you?”, Bongsun asked in a serious tone.
Hyejung smiled again, “I do not know Unni. I do not know how to explain this.”
“I just do. We were at home once, I was lying on the couch, and he was playing with his guitar eating froot loops. He stared at me while I was flipping through channels. He sets down his guitar, takes a purple froot loop from the box, takes my hand and inserts it on my ring finger. He smiled like a child as he watched the cereal on my finger.”, her cheeks were burning as she recalled the moment.
“He told me: I want you to be my companion, my friend, my mate to live and work, to love and die with you, that so together we may know the purity and height of passion, and of joy and sorrow. I want to be yours forever and our co-equal love will make the stars to laugh with joy and to its circling fugue pass, hand holding hand until we reach the very heart of God. He looked at me shyly then smiled. He said he was not so good with words yet, but for now, he had to borrow words from a poem he read online to express what was on his heart.”
“At that moment, I knew he was my always and forever. I guess I fell inlove with his heart, Unni”, she smiled trying to hold back her tears.
Bongsun smiled, happy to see her friend radiating with joy and love.
“So, how’s it like being a fangirl?”, a loud voice rang through the arena which startled the two women.
They looked at the empty aisle where Hyunjoong stood. His serious expression faded and turned into a smile when he saw Hyejung’s beaming face.
“You were great Yeobo, our baby will be proud of you”, she walked towards him and gave him a hug.
“Oh, don’t be too happy, you still have some explaining to do.”, he said after giving kissing her on the cheeks.
She pouted her lips, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you on stage”
Bongsun excused herself to find Boram and Shi Eun.
“That was dumb and dangerous, Buin”, he put an around her waist and they started to walk towards the exit.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just really wanted to feel what it’s like. And see you perform”, she said in a whisper almost ready to cry knowing what she did was wrong.
He let out a throaty laughter after seeing her reaction, “You should have told me earlier, I would have reserved the arena and performed for you, or do you want the boys to join me on stage?” he joked to break the tension.
Hyejung stopped and glared at the laughing idol’s joke.
“Oh, no need for the arena and the boys, you can do a solo performance at home”, she smiled and gave him a wry wink.
Hyunjoong stopped on his tracks and started to panic. He should not have given suggestions to a hormonal woman.
Fate and Crossroads: Nine
previous chapter/s:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
author's note: second to the last part. i'm not sure if there will be a happy ending. we'll see what tomorrow brings.
---------------------------------
Nine.
Hwangbo was taken aback by his words and sudden confession. All the while she thought he was not capable of saying those words. She thought he was only toying with her. Somehow she has closed her mind and partly her heart when he left her, and after the bar incident, she has locked her heart and set love aside.
She grasp the satin like material of her dress, clenching it tighter as she made a fist hoping to draw strength as she asked him, "Then why Hyunjoong? Why did you leave me like that, without a word? Why did you runaway like a prisoner breaking out of jail? Why did you leave me asking questions, blaming myself? Why?". She tried with all her might to stop the tears from flowing. Somehow, she made a conclusion that crying is for the weak, and with what she has been through, she sure was anything but weak.
"I was afraid. I was beginning to realize how dependent I have become when I was with you. It was like my happiness depended on you. I was stupid, but I was afraid because this feeling, this emotion was new to me. It was something so unfamiliar, and I was uncertain at that time that you loved me, too.", he fell slowly on his knees, "I am sorry for leaving like that. I am sorry for not being brave enough to face my feelings for you. I know I will never be man enough for you after what I did."
Hwangbo realized she held her breath the minute he fell on his knees. She suddenly felt the need to fill her lungs with oxygen, but as air filled her nostrils, her tears fell like the sudden surge of rain. There were many things she wanted to tell him, but no words came out of her mouth.
Hyunjoong took her hands and held them in a gentle grip, "I will not ask you for a second chance because I do not deserve that. All I am asking you now is to listen and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive an insolent fool."
He looked intently at her, "Please know that I am still hopelessly in love with you, and maybe it will stay that way 'til the end of time. Perhaps, I will never love anyone else in this lifetime or in the next one"
Hyunjoong stood up and walked away, giving her space to breathe and think. His heart was heavy and his pain was unbearable, but he thought it was only fair because he not only brought pain on himself but caused her suffering, too.
Hwangbo sat there. She expected pain and sadness in this encounter, but they did not come to her that night. She was still appalled by the things he confessed. All her hurt and suffering was erased and replaced by an overwhelming emotion she has been concealing deep in the chambers of her being. Her heart was pounding in an unfamiliar beat again. She sat in the darkness thinking of what fate holds for them now that they reached another crossroad.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
author's note: second to the last part. i'm not sure if there will be a happy ending. we'll see what tomorrow brings.
---------------------------------
Nine.
Hwangbo was taken aback by his words and sudden confession. All the while she thought he was not capable of saying those words. She thought he was only toying with her. Somehow she has closed her mind and partly her heart when he left her, and after the bar incident, she has locked her heart and set love aside.
She grasp the satin like material of her dress, clenching it tighter as she made a fist hoping to draw strength as she asked him, "Then why Hyunjoong? Why did you leave me like that, without a word? Why did you runaway like a prisoner breaking out of jail? Why did you leave me asking questions, blaming myself? Why?". She tried with all her might to stop the tears from flowing. Somehow, she made a conclusion that crying is for the weak, and with what she has been through, she sure was anything but weak.
"I was afraid. I was beginning to realize how dependent I have become when I was with you. It was like my happiness depended on you. I was stupid, but I was afraid because this feeling, this emotion was new to me. It was something so unfamiliar, and I was uncertain at that time that you loved me, too.", he fell slowly on his knees, "I am sorry for leaving like that. I am sorry for not being brave enough to face my feelings for you. I know I will never be man enough for you after what I did."
Hwangbo realized she held her breath the minute he fell on his knees. She suddenly felt the need to fill her lungs with oxygen, but as air filled her nostrils, her tears fell like the sudden surge of rain. There were many things she wanted to tell him, but no words came out of her mouth.
Hyunjoong took her hands and held them in a gentle grip, "I will not ask you for a second chance because I do not deserve that. All I am asking you now is to listen and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive an insolent fool."
He looked intently at her, "Please know that I am still hopelessly in love with you, and maybe it will stay that way 'til the end of time. Perhaps, I will never love anyone else in this lifetime or in the next one"
Hyunjoong stood up and walked away, giving her space to breathe and think. His heart was heavy and his pain was unbearable, but he thought it was only fair because he not only brought pain on himself but caused her suffering, too.
Hwangbo sat there. She expected pain and sadness in this encounter, but they did not come to her that night. She was still appalled by the things he confessed. All her hurt and suffering was erased and replaced by an overwhelming emotion she has been concealing deep in the chambers of her being. Her heart was pounding in an unfamiliar beat again. She sat in the darkness thinking of what fate holds for them now that they reached another crossroad.
Fate and Crossroads: Eight
previous chapter/s:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
author's notes: i am so determined to finish this fic, but i don't know how this is turning out. anyway, suju members were mentioned here originally, but since i am hating on shindong's sexist comments, i had to scrap them and use yunho and micky instead.
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Eight.
They stared at each other, then Hwangbo tried to pull away for the second time, but Hyunjoong could not let her go. "Will you...", he whispered, "dance with me please?"
Hwangbo looked away.
Her hesitation caught Gain's attention, "Dance with Hyunjoong, Unni!", she urged her.
Hwangbo had to give in. Otherwise, everyone would notice the tension between her and Hyunjoong, and that was the last thing she needed right now.
Hyunjoong nervously puts his arms around her thin waist as she wrapped her slender arms around his neck. Hwangbo tried her best to avoid his eyes, so she rested her head on his shoulder. His nearness was making her crazy. And when he slid his fingers on her bare back, his touch seemed to leave burn marks on her skin. It was delightful to feel him so near, but fear started to rise in her heart. The loneliness and uncertainty when he suddenly just left was a prison cell she could not seem to escape from. 'What are you doing? Why are you doing this, Hyejung?', she asked herself.
Hyunjoong was lost in a trance. Having her near was like heaven he had not experienced in a long time. When they started dancing, he realized how much emptiness there was inside and how much he missed her. He was cursing himself for being so indecisive. He held her closer.
Perhaps, a little too close because the next thing he knew, she was pushing him away.
"Excuse me", she muttered walking away from the garden as fast as she can. She could not risk her heart so openly again, like she did a few months ago.
She can still remember the pain she suffered at the start of the year.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
January 2010
The club was fully packed. The smell of cigarette and liquor hung in the air like heavy rain clouds ready to put out the fire. Young hot blooded humans graced the dance floor in their glittery, skimpy outfit and sensually delightful dance moves. It was the start of a new year thus people were out to party and have fun. What better way to start 2010 than to have fun, right? That's exactly what he was trying to do tonight. He spent so much time completely immersed in work that he thought he'd give himself a break tonight. Thank God for popular friends who are constantly throwing parties at private clubs. He smiled as another round of tequila shots was brought by the waiter.
"For a prosperous 2010!!", Hyungjun shouted.
"Cheers!!!", the rest of the idols in your table shouted.
"Let's dance!!!"
Everyone except Hyunjoong stood up and headed towards the dance floor.
The DJ stopped playing the music, and announced something on his mic, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a lovely surprise from our generous host tonight. Thanks by the way for inviting me, Minhosshi. Without further ado, our fearless sexy General and techtonic Goddess...Hwangbo"
The crowd cheered and started chanting her name. Jungmin gave the shocked Hyunjoong a look meant to tease his Hyung. Baby and Kyu didn't mind him, they missed their Noona so badly they even moved towards the front for two reasons, one to get a better view and two for their Noona to see them and know that they are there. Youngsaeng smiled, but he knew better than to taunt the tipsy Hyunjoong.
He sat there, frozen. It's been a long time, it felt like a really long time to him.
"Are you guys feeling alright?", her raspy voice blared on the humongous speakers keeping Hyunjoong from zoning out to We Got Married land and after We Got Married land.
The crowd yelled, "YES!!!"
"Has Go Junpyo passed around the right amount of alcohol for the young kids?", she joked
"No!!!!"
"You hear that right, Junpyo? Where's the Cass beer?" she yelled again as the limelight searched for Minho on the dance floor. "But seriously though, let's all give it up for the F4 leader for inviting us all to his 2010 kickoff party."
The crowd wooted, yelled and cheered for the host of the party.
"Did you guys enjoy your New Year's Eve?" she asked as her dancers joined her on stage..
Another wild YES from the giddy crowd.
"I was at Koobar, but I had one hell of a night!!", she yelled waiting for a signal from the DJ. She readied herself for her 1st song. She looked beautiful as always. There was not a trace of pain or hurt on her face, well not anymore. Somehow, she's mastered a skill that was very important to keep her and her career going. She has two faces now. One that she shows to the multitude, and another that she calls her true self. Now, she was putting on her brave, unaffected face looking as if she was the happiest woman alive.
"Are you guys ready for some techtonic music?", she asked as a familiar tune played. Jungmin went wild when he heard Get Hot's intro and started jumping up and down not caring if he hit anyone as he went after Baby and Kyu.
Hyunjoong just sat there, staring at his ex-fake wife in a glittery gold outfit that he would not have approved. She was as graceful as ever. It was sort of weird how she just fell on his empty plate tonight just when he started to contemplate on the year that was. She had been someone he had to let go because of his weird schedule, busy life and cowardice. Something he painfully regretted.
He watched her intently, her every move, every dance step, every wink at the idol crowd, every movement of her lips, every sway of her sexy hips. He felt himself being drawn back to that old familiar feeling of wanting her, needing her too much he thought he'd go crazy. He was immersed in his thoughts, he did not even notice her set already ended.
Baby, Kyu and Jungmin stuck with her like leaches when she came down from the stage. Giving her bear hugs even in her sweaty state. She was bomabarded with, "Noona, we missed you", "Hyungsonim, you were great", "Daughter-in-law, when are you going to cook for us again?", when she came down. They did not even allow her to take a breather as she was invited to join them on their table which was more like being dragged to the table since her ex fake brothers-in-law would not take no for an answer.
Hyunjoong felt as if he was dreaming. Hwangbo was approaching the table. She was occasionally stopped and greeted by her dongsaengs.
"Noona!!!!!", Yunho and Micky shouted and sandwiched her in a hug.
Hyunjoong raised an eyebrow at the sight. He knew this time it was not a dream because his jealousy was definitely kicking in. If this was not a party, he would have gone mad and gave them a good beating. His patience was about to run out, especially when Chansung and Nickhun approached their Noona and she gave each of them a hug. That's it, he could not take it anymore. He went to the washroom and sprinkled some water on his pretty face.
Hwangbo was expecting Hyunjoong to be there, but he was not. She took a seat instantly and gave a sigh of relief. Seeing him in flesh after their falling out would have been weird.
More drinks were being passed around when someone behind Hwangbo suddenly spoke, "That's my seat", he said in a stern voice.
"Omo", Hwangbo was startled and almost fell down from her seat. Hyunjoong grabbed her arm. Now, they were standing face to face. His arm wrapped around her waist protectively. It was a good thing the rest of the boys were still busy chatting with other celebrities inside the club. Everybody was busy with their own thing, no one actually noticed anything anymore including them.
They were unable to move. Hwangbo's instincts were screaming at her, but her limbs couldn't seem to move. She should have pushed him, but she didn't. She stood there trying her best not to melt in his arms. Yes, she was angry at him for leaving just like that, for not giving her reasons, for making her fall, for making her wait, for making her seem like a love sick puppy, but she missed him too d.amn much that his nearness now makes her forget all the hurt and the pain. And so, she stood there close enough to feel his warmth, to feel his presence, to feel that happiness and love she thought they once had. And for a moment, she thought she was blissful, satisfied to stand with him just like this.
Hyunjoong should have let her go when she found her balance, but he did not. He held on to her never wanting to let her go again. He knew he was stupid enough to leave her back then, and he regretted that more than anything in his life. It was exactly what he wanted, to wrap his arms around her again, just like this, just like now. He did not know how he became so brave to do what he is doing now, but all he knows is that her nearness, her warmth, her intoxicating womanly smell was all he needed to be happy, to be able to love again.
When Hwangbo found the strength to move an inch back, Hyunjoong tightened his hold pulling her even closer. He moved his head forward making their lips touch. Without thinking much, he started kissing her. He knew it was what he wanted, he knew it was what he needed for the longest time.
Everything blurred out when their lips met, and when he pressed forward to kiss her, Hwangbo just closed her eyes, lost in that splendid moment. There weren't any fireworks, but Hwangbo knew at that very moment she was willing to sacrifice herself for a second chance to be with him again.
When she responded to his kisses, a tear escaped Hyunjoong's eye. After all that he did to her, he knew in that instant that there was some hope left to win her back. And, he was willing to prove to the whole world that he was worth it, that he was worthy to be her man. He was ready to prove all her friends wrong, he was ready to tell the Korea's entertainment industry that Kim Hyunjoong was capable of loving and prove that he was man enough for her. He moved his kisses away from her lips to her cheek, tracing her jawline with soft butterfly kisses, then on to the sensitized skin just under her earlobes. He paused there then whispered, "Do you want to come up to my room?"
Hwangbo was alarmed, 'What do you think I am? Some w.hore?, she thought as memories of the hurt he caused her came rushing in. Her heart was crushed once again. She used all the strength she had left to push him away.
At that, Hyunjoong realized his words did not come out right, "That's not what I---"
His explanation came too late. Before he knew it, she was already swaying her arm readying her palm to come across his cheek. Hyunjoong tried to stop her, but she was too fast. He rightfully deserved a slap after all.
"I cannot believe I actually thought you changed. I should have known better.", she choked trying to fight back the tears, "Once a b.astard, always a b.astard, right?"
Hyunjoong was still in shock after her acrimonious slap. What he wanted was a chance to talk and ask for forgiveness somewhere quiet, but his words obviously did not come out right.
Hwangbo left the club in a scurry. She left with more pain and hatred for Hyunjoong than she had before. She left hating herself for being stupid and naïve.
_ _ _ _ _ _
Hyunjoong found her in one of the rooms, talking quietly on the phone.
"Get me out of here. Please, I am begging you, Oppa", she forcefully whispered. Her voice was quivering. It was obvious that she had been crying. "I should not have done this. I should not have done this.", she kept on repeating in between sobs.
Hyunjoong closed his eyes, traces of guilt written all over his face. He was finally beginning to realize just how much he had hurt her.
Hwangbo finally stepped out of the room. She was startled to find Hyunjoong outside. He looked her deep in the eyes.
"Can we talk?", he asked.
"No, there's no need for that anymore.", she answered walking to the PD's room then slamming the door shut. After a few minutes, she emerged. She rolled her eyes when she saw him squatting on the floor beside the door.
"Please Hyejung, we need to talk.", Hyunjoong begged like he has never begged in his life.
Hwangbo scoffed at his request. She limped her way to her bedroom, but he was persistent. Hyunjoong blocked her from entering. Hwangbo was surprised at his actions, but she eventually pushed him inside when she noticed people coming inside the villa. The last thing she needed right now was for people to start speculating about their relationship. She closed the door behind her.
"Are you crazy? What are you trying to do?", she whispered, her brows crossed and her cheeks turning red in anger.
"I just want us to talk. We did not get that chance the last time we saw each other--", he shrugged.
"Because the last time we met, you asked me to go with you to your bedroom.", she winced as she settled herself to one of the couches. "If you have not noticed yet, I am not that kind of girl."
The look on her face was fierce, but there were obvious traces of pain and hurt.
"I'm sorry, but last time, at the club, that was not what I meant to say. It all came out wrong--", he looked at the floor, ashamed that even in words he could not express what it was that he felt for her.
"Oh, well", she sighed, "What's done is done. You cannot take back the things you said or did. I do not need to hear your explanation", she said bluntly.
But her words angered Hyunjoong, in three long strides he was in front of Hwangbo, "Yes, there is!", he told her, "There is a need for you to hear my explanation"
"Why?", she asked him in a harsh tone.
"Because I was an indignant fool", he lowered his head. Shame and embarrassment evident in his tone. "Because I was stupid and foolish for running away. Because I was stupid for saying those things at the bar. Because I am blockheaded since I only realized now how much I hurt you. Because I am crazy for thinking that I only loved you because I need you when in fact I need you most because I love you. I ---", there was a long pause, then he looked at her, "I want you. I need you. I love you", his voice was hoarse and his face was tense.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
author's notes: i am so determined to finish this fic, but i don't know how this is turning out. anyway, suju members were mentioned here originally, but since i am hating on shindong's sexist comments, i had to scrap them and use yunho and micky instead.
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Eight.
They stared at each other, then Hwangbo tried to pull away for the second time, but Hyunjoong could not let her go. "Will you...", he whispered, "dance with me please?"
Hwangbo looked away.
Her hesitation caught Gain's attention, "Dance with Hyunjoong, Unni!", she urged her.
Hwangbo had to give in. Otherwise, everyone would notice the tension between her and Hyunjoong, and that was the last thing she needed right now.
Hyunjoong nervously puts his arms around her thin waist as she wrapped her slender arms around his neck. Hwangbo tried her best to avoid his eyes, so she rested her head on his shoulder. His nearness was making her crazy. And when he slid his fingers on her bare back, his touch seemed to leave burn marks on her skin. It was delightful to feel him so near, but fear started to rise in her heart. The loneliness and uncertainty when he suddenly just left was a prison cell she could not seem to escape from. 'What are you doing? Why are you doing this, Hyejung?', she asked herself.
Hyunjoong was lost in a trance. Having her near was like heaven he had not experienced in a long time. When they started dancing, he realized how much emptiness there was inside and how much he missed her. He was cursing himself for being so indecisive. He held her closer.
Perhaps, a little too close because the next thing he knew, she was pushing him away.
"Excuse me", she muttered walking away from the garden as fast as she can. She could not risk her heart so openly again, like she did a few months ago.
She can still remember the pain she suffered at the start of the year.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
January 2010
The club was fully packed. The smell of cigarette and liquor hung in the air like heavy rain clouds ready to put out the fire. Young hot blooded humans graced the dance floor in their glittery, skimpy outfit and sensually delightful dance moves. It was the start of a new year thus people were out to party and have fun. What better way to start 2010 than to have fun, right? That's exactly what he was trying to do tonight. He spent so much time completely immersed in work that he thought he'd give himself a break tonight. Thank God for popular friends who are constantly throwing parties at private clubs. He smiled as another round of tequila shots was brought by the waiter.
"For a prosperous 2010!!", Hyungjun shouted.
"Cheers!!!", the rest of the idols in your table shouted.
"Let's dance!!!"
Everyone except Hyunjoong stood up and headed towards the dance floor.
The DJ stopped playing the music, and announced something on his mic, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a lovely surprise from our generous host tonight. Thanks by the way for inviting me, Minhosshi. Without further ado, our fearless sexy General and techtonic Goddess...Hwangbo"
The crowd cheered and started chanting her name. Jungmin gave the shocked Hyunjoong a look meant to tease his Hyung. Baby and Kyu didn't mind him, they missed their Noona so badly they even moved towards the front for two reasons, one to get a better view and two for their Noona to see them and know that they are there. Youngsaeng smiled, but he knew better than to taunt the tipsy Hyunjoong.
He sat there, frozen. It's been a long time, it felt like a really long time to him.
"Are you guys feeling alright?", her raspy voice blared on the humongous speakers keeping Hyunjoong from zoning out to We Got Married land and after We Got Married land.
The crowd yelled, "YES!!!"
"Has Go Junpyo passed around the right amount of alcohol for the young kids?", she joked
"No!!!!"
"You hear that right, Junpyo? Where's the Cass beer?" she yelled again as the limelight searched for Minho on the dance floor. "But seriously though, let's all give it up for the F4 leader for inviting us all to his 2010 kickoff party."
The crowd wooted, yelled and cheered for the host of the party.
"Did you guys enjoy your New Year's Eve?" she asked as her dancers joined her on stage..
Another wild YES from the giddy crowd.
"I was at Koobar, but I had one hell of a night!!", she yelled waiting for a signal from the DJ. She readied herself for her 1st song. She looked beautiful as always. There was not a trace of pain or hurt on her face, well not anymore. Somehow, she's mastered a skill that was very important to keep her and her career going. She has two faces now. One that she shows to the multitude, and another that she calls her true self. Now, she was putting on her brave, unaffected face looking as if she was the happiest woman alive.
"Are you guys ready for some techtonic music?", she asked as a familiar tune played. Jungmin went wild when he heard Get Hot's intro and started jumping up and down not caring if he hit anyone as he went after Baby and Kyu.
Hyunjoong just sat there, staring at his ex-fake wife in a glittery gold outfit that he would not have approved. She was as graceful as ever. It was sort of weird how she just fell on his empty plate tonight just when he started to contemplate on the year that was. She had been someone he had to let go because of his weird schedule, busy life and cowardice. Something he painfully regretted.
He watched her intently, her every move, every dance step, every wink at the idol crowd, every movement of her lips, every sway of her sexy hips. He felt himself being drawn back to that old familiar feeling of wanting her, needing her too much he thought he'd go crazy. He was immersed in his thoughts, he did not even notice her set already ended.
Baby, Kyu and Jungmin stuck with her like leaches when she came down from the stage. Giving her bear hugs even in her sweaty state. She was bomabarded with, "Noona, we missed you", "Hyungsonim, you were great", "Daughter-in-law, when are you going to cook for us again?", when she came down. They did not even allow her to take a breather as she was invited to join them on their table which was more like being dragged to the table since her ex fake brothers-in-law would not take no for an answer.
Hyunjoong felt as if he was dreaming. Hwangbo was approaching the table. She was occasionally stopped and greeted by her dongsaengs.
"Noona!!!!!", Yunho and Micky shouted and sandwiched her in a hug.
Hyunjoong raised an eyebrow at the sight. He knew this time it was not a dream because his jealousy was definitely kicking in. If this was not a party, he would have gone mad and gave them a good beating. His patience was about to run out, especially when Chansung and Nickhun approached their Noona and she gave each of them a hug. That's it, he could not take it anymore. He went to the washroom and sprinkled some water on his pretty face.
Hwangbo was expecting Hyunjoong to be there, but he was not. She took a seat instantly and gave a sigh of relief. Seeing him in flesh after their falling out would have been weird.
More drinks were being passed around when someone behind Hwangbo suddenly spoke, "That's my seat", he said in a stern voice.
"Omo", Hwangbo was startled and almost fell down from her seat. Hyunjoong grabbed her arm. Now, they were standing face to face. His arm wrapped around her waist protectively. It was a good thing the rest of the boys were still busy chatting with other celebrities inside the club. Everybody was busy with their own thing, no one actually noticed anything anymore including them.
They were unable to move. Hwangbo's instincts were screaming at her, but her limbs couldn't seem to move. She should have pushed him, but she didn't. She stood there trying her best not to melt in his arms. Yes, she was angry at him for leaving just like that, for not giving her reasons, for making her fall, for making her wait, for making her seem like a love sick puppy, but she missed him too d.amn much that his nearness now makes her forget all the hurt and the pain. And so, she stood there close enough to feel his warmth, to feel his presence, to feel that happiness and love she thought they once had. And for a moment, she thought she was blissful, satisfied to stand with him just like this.
Hyunjoong should have let her go when she found her balance, but he did not. He held on to her never wanting to let her go again. He knew he was stupid enough to leave her back then, and he regretted that more than anything in his life. It was exactly what he wanted, to wrap his arms around her again, just like this, just like now. He did not know how he became so brave to do what he is doing now, but all he knows is that her nearness, her warmth, her intoxicating womanly smell was all he needed to be happy, to be able to love again.
When Hwangbo found the strength to move an inch back, Hyunjoong tightened his hold pulling her even closer. He moved his head forward making their lips touch. Without thinking much, he started kissing her. He knew it was what he wanted, he knew it was what he needed for the longest time.
Everything blurred out when their lips met, and when he pressed forward to kiss her, Hwangbo just closed her eyes, lost in that splendid moment. There weren't any fireworks, but Hwangbo knew at that very moment she was willing to sacrifice herself for a second chance to be with him again.
When she responded to his kisses, a tear escaped Hyunjoong's eye. After all that he did to her, he knew in that instant that there was some hope left to win her back. And, he was willing to prove to the whole world that he was worth it, that he was worthy to be her man. He was ready to prove all her friends wrong, he was ready to tell the Korea's entertainment industry that Kim Hyunjoong was capable of loving and prove that he was man enough for her. He moved his kisses away from her lips to her cheek, tracing her jawline with soft butterfly kisses, then on to the sensitized skin just under her earlobes. He paused there then whispered, "Do you want to come up to my room?"
Hwangbo was alarmed, 'What do you think I am? Some w.hore?, she thought as memories of the hurt he caused her came rushing in. Her heart was crushed once again. She used all the strength she had left to push him away.
At that, Hyunjoong realized his words did not come out right, "That's not what I---"
His explanation came too late. Before he knew it, she was already swaying her arm readying her palm to come across his cheek. Hyunjoong tried to stop her, but she was too fast. He rightfully deserved a slap after all.
"I cannot believe I actually thought you changed. I should have known better.", she choked trying to fight back the tears, "Once a b.astard, always a b.astard, right?"
Hyunjoong was still in shock after her acrimonious slap. What he wanted was a chance to talk and ask for forgiveness somewhere quiet, but his words obviously did not come out right.
Hwangbo left the club in a scurry. She left with more pain and hatred for Hyunjoong than she had before. She left hating herself for being stupid and naïve.
_ _ _ _ _ _
Hyunjoong found her in one of the rooms, talking quietly on the phone.
"Get me out of here. Please, I am begging you, Oppa", she forcefully whispered. Her voice was quivering. It was obvious that she had been crying. "I should not have done this. I should not have done this.", she kept on repeating in between sobs.
Hyunjoong closed his eyes, traces of guilt written all over his face. He was finally beginning to realize just how much he had hurt her.
Hwangbo finally stepped out of the room. She was startled to find Hyunjoong outside. He looked her deep in the eyes.
"Can we talk?", he asked.
"No, there's no need for that anymore.", she answered walking to the PD's room then slamming the door shut. After a few minutes, she emerged. She rolled her eyes when she saw him squatting on the floor beside the door.
"Please Hyejung, we need to talk.", Hyunjoong begged like he has never begged in his life.
Hwangbo scoffed at his request. She limped her way to her bedroom, but he was persistent. Hyunjoong blocked her from entering. Hwangbo was surprised at his actions, but she eventually pushed him inside when she noticed people coming inside the villa. The last thing she needed right now was for people to start speculating about their relationship. She closed the door behind her.
"Are you crazy? What are you trying to do?", she whispered, her brows crossed and her cheeks turning red in anger.
"I just want us to talk. We did not get that chance the last time we saw each other--", he shrugged.
"Because the last time we met, you asked me to go with you to your bedroom.", she winced as she settled herself to one of the couches. "If you have not noticed yet, I am not that kind of girl."
The look on her face was fierce, but there were obvious traces of pain and hurt.
"I'm sorry, but last time, at the club, that was not what I meant to say. It all came out wrong--", he looked at the floor, ashamed that even in words he could not express what it was that he felt for her.
"Oh, well", she sighed, "What's done is done. You cannot take back the things you said or did. I do not need to hear your explanation", she said bluntly.
But her words angered Hyunjoong, in three long strides he was in front of Hwangbo, "Yes, there is!", he told her, "There is a need for you to hear my explanation"
"Why?", she asked him in a harsh tone.
"Because I was an indignant fool", he lowered his head. Shame and embarrassment evident in his tone. "Because I was stupid and foolish for running away. Because I was stupid for saying those things at the bar. Because I am blockheaded since I only realized now how much I hurt you. Because I am crazy for thinking that I only loved you because I need you when in fact I need you most because I love you. I ---", there was a long pause, then he looked at her, "I want you. I need you. I love you", his voice was hoarse and his face was tense.
Fate and Crossroads: Seven
previous chapter/s:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
author's note: this one's too short. i don't know why i cut this one, i just did. i guess my brain cells did not work the day i wrote this--fried brain cells, anyone? anyway, i hope this one still makes sense.
------------------------------------------------------------
Seven.
They all sat quietly around the table except for Jokwon who was giving instructions to the staff members.
Soon, speakers, a microphone and an electric keyboard were put in place.
"Ah! Ahh!", Jokwon tested the mic, but a loud shrill like feedback escaped from the speakers. Gain gave him a distasteful look.
Jokwon smiled innocently at them, "I'm sorry Yeobo".
"Are we set?", he then asked the sound technicians who nodded in response.
"Alright! Without further ado, Kim Bumsoo", he happily announced. They all applauded as the singer approached the small stage.
Hwangbo could not believe her eyes. She stared blankly at the stage.
"Good evening", Bumsoo's voice was smooth as silk as he greeted everyone. "This is a new song from my new album. I hope you like it."
Music soon filled the garden. Jokwon took Gain to the center, and they danced to the slow music. Half way through the song, Jokwon forced Hwangbo to dance taking no for an answer. Followed by Gain, who danced with Hyunjoong.
They all stopped to applaud the ballad singer when the song ended.
"Thank you. Is there a song you guys would like to hear now?", Bumsoo asked.
"Bogoshipda!!", Gain and Jokwon shrieked in unison.
When the pianist hit the first notes, Hwangbo stood frozen. It was like she started to shrivel. She felt like running away or sinking back into her shell. The memories of them wreaked havoc in her brain, popping like mushrooms everywhere. Nothing else seemed clear except for the memory of him and the old piano when he finally memorized the whole song for her. She blindly walked back to her seat, but she stepped on a rock and almost lost her balance. Someone broke her fall. When she looked up, it was him. She was wrapped in his embrace again, and it felt warm and fuzzy. But the nostalgia was too powerful. She tried to push him away, but he was too strong, so much stronger than she'd anticipated.
"Isn't this Noona's favorite song?" Jokwon asked. "Dance with her, Hyung!", he urged Hyunjoong.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
author's note: this one's too short. i don't know why i cut this one, i just did. i guess my brain cells did not work the day i wrote this--fried brain cells, anyone? anyway, i hope this one still makes sense.
------------------------------------------------------------
Seven.
They all sat quietly around the table except for Jokwon who was giving instructions to the staff members.
Soon, speakers, a microphone and an electric keyboard were put in place.
"Ah! Ahh!", Jokwon tested the mic, but a loud shrill like feedback escaped from the speakers. Gain gave him a distasteful look.
Jokwon smiled innocently at them, "I'm sorry Yeobo".
"Are we set?", he then asked the sound technicians who nodded in response.
"Alright! Without further ado, Kim Bumsoo", he happily announced. They all applauded as the singer approached the small stage.
Hwangbo could not believe her eyes. She stared blankly at the stage.
"Good evening", Bumsoo's voice was smooth as silk as he greeted everyone. "This is a new song from my new album. I hope you like it."
Music soon filled the garden. Jokwon took Gain to the center, and they danced to the slow music. Half way through the song, Jokwon forced Hwangbo to dance taking no for an answer. Followed by Gain, who danced with Hyunjoong.
They all stopped to applaud the ballad singer when the song ended.
"Thank you. Is there a song you guys would like to hear now?", Bumsoo asked.
"Bogoshipda!!", Gain and Jokwon shrieked in unison.
When the pianist hit the first notes, Hwangbo stood frozen. It was like she started to shrivel. She felt like running away or sinking back into her shell. The memories of them wreaked havoc in her brain, popping like mushrooms everywhere. Nothing else seemed clear except for the memory of him and the old piano when he finally memorized the whole song for her. She blindly walked back to her seat, but she stepped on a rock and almost lost her balance. Someone broke her fall. When she looked up, it was him. She was wrapped in his embrace again, and it felt warm and fuzzy. But the nostalgia was too powerful. She tried to push him away, but he was too strong, so much stronger than she'd anticipated.
"Isn't this Noona's favorite song?" Jokwon asked. "Dance with her, Hyung!", he urged Hyunjoong.
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