His Heart

author's note: i intended to make this a response to Your Laughter, but i don't think it turned out that way. anyway, i was inspired by the poem by Christina Walsh called A Woman to her Lover.






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The cheers of the crowd shook the entire arena. From where Hyejung was, it almost seemed like she would soon drown in a sea of screaming, bright-eyed fangirls who wagged their neon green laser lights and large banners. They soon jumped up and down as they heard the familiar song blaring from the gigantic speakers forming what seemed to be turbulent waves on the angry ocean.

“Sure, I love him and am a big, no, huge fan of the group, but I was never crazy enough to actually watch their shows outside the VIP section”, Bongsun complained. “I can’t even see their faces from the LCD screens..”

Shi Eun tried to wiggle her way out of the group of dancing girls who seemed hungry enough to eat her alive, “Chingu”, she called Hyejung’s attention, they were using secret codes now since they wouldn’t want to be announcing their presence in the concert without bouncers and body guards to stir away the crowd, “Are we trying to get ourselves killed? Murdered perhaps?”, she asked Hyejung who sat in the middle of the group.

“Ani!”, Boram shouted, “Our Chingu here has just adopted a new hobby, she’s just a thrill seeker now”, she complained shoving out a girl infront of her.

But the person they were talking to just stood there peacefully, almost in a daze, almost as wide-eyed as the rest of the fangirls in the 15-25 age bracket. Hyejung has watched a lot of idol group concerts, but she has never felt more alive and ecstatic as now. She always sat at the VIP section with stuck up CEOs, managers, heads of ad agencies and other celebrities hidden away from the crowd. She even wondered if those were the only tickets given to the idols. This decision was done on impulse. She had 4 VIP tickets lying around on top of her coffee table, but then she thought, where’s the fun in that?, before going online to buy 4 lower box tickets.

Now that she’s here, she was satisfied, happy to finally feel what it’s like to watch him from the crowd. She smiled as he took the stage for a solo performance. It was true what she read from a million fan accounts, he is dashing when he takes the stage. His smile could melt every fangirl’s heart, and at that very moment she understood why they were very possessive of him and why they hated on her when he revealed his intention to marry her.

“This is our last song”, Hyungjun announced, and the crowd cheered them on.

Hyejung was still lost in a trance even after their last song, and when the crowd slowly walked towards the stage, she started joining them, but Bongsun was quick to stop her.

“Omo, what are you doing?”, she grabbed Hyejung’s hand and fixed the hood of her sweater to cover her head.

Hyejung gave her friends a shy smile. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away”, she said fixing the face mask to hide her already red cheeks.

“Just remember, I’m never doing this again, well not watching their concert from the lower box at least.”, Boram complained again.

“But it was fun, right? Omo…”, Hyejung’s eyes grew round then touched her stomach.

Shi Eun looked worried, “What’s wrong? You should sit down, no uhm, remain standing…”, she took off Hyejung’s face mask, “Here, breathe…”

“Are you in pain?”, Bongsun, the eldest among the four, remained calm.

“Ani, Ani!”, Hyejung reassured them and then smiled. “I think the baby kicked”, she said touching her 2 month old very pregnant tummy.

“Pabo! The baby does not even have legs yet!” Bongsun replied then sat down beside Hwangbo.

Shi Eun and Boram laughed at Hyejung then started stroking her belly.

“We should go now…”, Hyejung announced after noticing that the arena was almost empty.

“Aren’t we waiting for Hyunjoong and the boys?”, Shi Eun asked her, then raised a brow.

Hyejung did not answer, then toyed with the string of her hoodie.

“Looks like husband does not know wifey’s here to watch his concert..”, Boram whispered loudly.

“No, no, it’s not like that. Well, he uhm….”, Hyejung looked down. “He gave me VIP tickets, but I…I….I wanted to experience watching him with the rest of the crowd and fans. You know the thrill, the loud cheers…”

“I was right.. She has become a thrill seeker since she married Hyunjoong”, Boram rolled her eyes.

“Ah, whatever, I’m never doing this again”, Shi Eun announced, “I have to pee”

Boram stood up, “Me, too” and walked with Shi Eun to the rest room.

“I’m sorry Bongsun Unni”, she apologized.

“I don’t mind coming here with you, really” Bongsun smiled. “I also have to tell you though---that I told Hyunjoong before we came”

“Omo, what? And he agreed?”, Hyejung asked in bewilderment.

“Of course not! Do you think he would feed his pregnant wife to an entire lake of green eyed piranhas?”, Bongsun answered ready to smack Hyejung on the head.

Hyejung was speechless again.

“Do you see that big guy in tight fitting black shirt? And that one there in denim jacket? And that guy in black sunglasses?”, Bongsun pointed them one by one. “He hired them all to look after you.”

“Really?”, she asked smiling brightly again

“He knew you were up to something the other night, so he checked with the ticketing office, and called to tell me his plan”, Bongsun explained.

Hyejung responded with a smile.

“I know you guys are so inlove, a proof is even coming out in 7 months, but why? Why him? Why a superstar idol who is 6 years younger than you?”, Bongsun asked in a serious tone.

Hyejung smiled again, “I do not know Unni. I do not know how to explain this.”

“I just do. We were at home once, I was lying on the couch, and he was playing with his guitar eating froot loops. He stared at me while I was flipping through channels. He sets down his guitar, takes a purple froot loop from the box, takes my hand and inserts it on my ring finger. He smiled like a child as he watched the cereal on my finger.”, her cheeks were burning as she recalled the moment.

“He told me: I want you to be my companion, my friend, my mate to live and work, to love and die with you, that so together we may know the purity and height of passion, and of joy and sorrow. I want to be yours forever and our co-equal love will make the stars to laugh with joy and to its circling fugue pass, hand holding hand until we reach the very heart of God. He looked at me shyly then smiled. He said he was not so good with words yet, but for now, he had to borrow words from a poem he read online to express what was on his heart.”

“At that moment, I knew he was my always and forever. I guess I fell inlove with his heart, Unni”, she smiled trying to hold back her tears.

Bongsun smiled, happy to see her friend radiating with joy and love.

“So, how’s it like being a fangirl?”, a loud voice rang through the arena which startled the two women.

They looked at the empty aisle where Hyunjoong stood. His serious expression faded and turned into a smile when he saw Hyejung’s beaming face.

“You were great Yeobo, our baby will be proud of you”, she walked towards him and gave him a hug.

“Oh, don’t be too happy, you still have some explaining to do.”, he said after giving kissing her on the cheeks.

She pouted her lips, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you on stage”

Bongsun excused herself to find Boram and Shi Eun.

“That was dumb and dangerous, Buin”, he put an around her waist and they started to walk towards the exit.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just really wanted to feel what it’s like. And see you perform”, she said in a whisper almost ready to cry knowing what she did was wrong.

He let out a throaty laughter after seeing her reaction, “You should have told me earlier, I would have reserved the arena and performed for you, or do you want the boys to join me on stage?” he joked to break the tension.

Hyejung stopped and glared at the laughing idol’s joke.

“Oh, no need for the arena and the boys, you can do a solo performance at home”, she smiled and gave him a wry wink.

Hyunjoong stopped on his tracks and started to panic. He should not have given suggestions to a hormonal woman.