Motherhood (by Pam)

Note: This was written by my Evil (and Perviest) Little Sole Sister, Pammy.. (Look Bee, she's joined our bandwagon!!!) It's her first ever fic!!!

Thank you so much Pammy for contributing to my Little Project!! Mwaaaaaaaah!!!

~*~

You cherish the time of the day when the dawn is breaking, it is when the dark sky looses the stars and just like how painters liven up a shabby canvas, you relish the beauty of how the purple hue streaks the lightening sky.

This is the time you allot for yourself. This is when you ponder on the things you’ve done, the things you’re doing and the things you ought to do. You’ve lived the good life, albeit not everything went easy for you, you learned from the booboos and mishaps thrown your way. You had your share of whatever drama life has to offer, you’ve played the heroin, the supporting role, heck you’re even the villain sometimes. In you years here on earth you laughed your laughter, you cried your tears, you fought your battles, you shared your blessings and you lived your life the way you know how. You smiled as you remember how you made it through the labyrinth that life presented you with. Yes, you said to yourself, there are a lot to be thankful for and just when you thought you couldn’t ask for more, your mobile phone atop your bedside drawer let out a faint cry. You quickly got hold of it and checked who’s on the other line. “shillang” flashed on the screen. You’re brow furrowed in worry as you think of reasons on why your husband would call at this unholy hour.

“shillang?” you said.

“omma!” a tiny voice squeaked, and you bolted right out of bed in panic.

‘Jyehin-ah!” you shot right back. “what’s wrong baby? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Can’t you sleep? Are you hungry? Where’s daddy?” the questions keep on firing out of your mouth, you can’t help it, when it comes to her your imagination just gets out of hand.

It’s been 5 years since you had her. Five beautiful, amazing years. Years you wouldn’t trade for anything else. You remembered clearly how difficult your pregnancy was. You remembered each sleepless nights and frightful mornings you had while carrying her inside you. Most of all, you remember clearly the fear, as intense as how fear can affect a person, of losing her. You did everything you could; you followed what the doctors were telling you, and if you were made to choose between your life and hers, you would gladly pick hers. It continues to amaze you how you could love someone you haven’t seen at all. How you’re willing to move heaven and earth just so she can live. You understood now what motherhood really is.

“ omma” you can hear your daughter whimpering, as if trying hard not to cry. Hearing your baby’s tears is something you dreaded. Something you wish you wouldn’t even hear much more see.

“what is it baby?” you tried to sound composed, to let her feel your strength, to make her feel protected.

“You’re not home yet. Will you be here for my recital? I need you here Omma. Appa can’t do my ballerina bun as good as you do and I don’t know where my tiara is and im scared dancing in front of many people…omma…” she chanted.

You smiled as you imagined your daughter pacing to and fro beside your bed at home. Holding her Cabbage Patch doll on one hand and her appa’s phone on the other.

“hush sweetheart. Omma will be there soon. I wouldn’t miss your recital for the world. You know that honey. Everything will be alright, you’ll dance as lovely as the fairies and everyone will be happy to clap their hands even before you take a bow. You’ll be great baby.”

“ You think so omma?” Jyehin pressed on.

“of course. Omma is super duper sure that you’ll be the best ballerina ever!” you assured her. And yes you really think she’ll be the best in whatever she does. She’s your daughter after all.

“hmmmmm OK. I’ll wait for you here omma! Hurry back!”

“I will sweetie…omma loves you…” you answered. The love in your voice as clear as crystal.

“and I love you more..” a raspy voice come from the end of the line. A voice you would recognize anywhere, the voice that lulled you to sleep countless of times and the same voice that awakens you from every sweet slumber you had. The voice you couldn’t imagine not hearing until the end of forever. The voice of the man who is your definition of love.

“shillang..” you breathed, a smile in your heart as you call him

“ I’m ssory for waking you up buin, I know you’re tired and all, but jyehin insisted I call you. She’s been awake since dawn and wouldn’t sleep anymore. When she woke up and noticed your not here yet she cried and wouldn’t stop until I told her we’ll call you.” Hyunjoong hastily explained. He knows how you work. He knows how important rest is to you and he knows even more.

“ It’s Ok shillang. I’m awake anyway. I was just worried when I heard Jyehin’s voice. I’ll be home soon.”

“ see you in a while buin. Be safe. I love you.”

“see you shillang, I love you.” And with that you hang up and busied yourself to catch the first flight to Seoul.