The past week has proven me wrong. I always thought of myself as just an artist who wants to be in a rock band, but I ended up being in a boy band singing pop songs and busting dance moves. And then, I became an actor, which was far from what I planned, too. And then, a commercial model, hamming it up for the camera.
Apparently and based on my most recent trip to Europe, I am an icon, but what does that mean—to be an icon? I guess there are just some things I will never understand.
Apparently and again, based on my trip to Spain, I have taken my idea of popularity to a different level. And when I and the rest of my group or band mates traveled to different parts of Asia, I had to breathe it all in—the fans, the lights, the shrills, the glee, the glamor, the hype.
They said we were popular.
They said I was popular.
And because I was popular, I landed many deals and conquered different areas of the Show Business Industry in Korea. I received many awards and tagged with so many recognitions I did not even know existed.
I earned money, so much more money to have my own football team and stadium, so much more to start a band of my own, so much more that I can enlist in the military and serve without really having to care about what awaits when I come out.
But because I am popular, there are many setbacks and many things I had to forego. Because I was popular and in demand, I landed in the hospital quite a number of times. And one time, because of a life threatening ailment.
When I sit quietly in one corner or when I drive the latest car given to me as a gift and the wind starts to blow on my face, I realize I had lost more than what I gained—my privacy, my time, and my heart at some point.
But somehow, everything seems to be alright. Somehow, when I come back home after a long day at work or an even longer trip, I go back to who I really am, I go back to the place where I truly belong.
I go back to you, and then nothing else matters because the rest of the world and the rest of my wearies all dissipate when I am in your arms or even when you open the door with your cat like eyes and perfect smiling lips.
Today, I'm glad to be driving in the highways of Seoul. In a matter of minutes, I'll be coming home. In a few more minutes, I'll be coming back to you.
It was a long week. Although I was scheduled to do something everyday in Spain, it felt like each day stretched longer and wider than the unending and boundless sea before me. Each day in Spain, I woke up hoping to see you smile at me in your fresh face. It's mushy to put it this way and I am not the kind to want to frolic in the sun, but your smile, to me, is like the sunshine that's supposed to warm my cold lonely heart. I hate how mushy I have become, but I never came close to hating the thought that I am in love with the woman who never fails to make my heart skip a beat.
People ask me why you. They say you're too old, they say you have had too much experience, they say there are cuter girls who act prim and proper and more refined than you. They ask me why I fell in love with you.
Indeed there are many beautiful girls all over the world. In fact with the way they are throwing themselves at me, I could just choose and assign one girl for each day of the week. As Jae would say, they are there at my disposal.
Beauty queens, singers, actresses, models, fan girls, ahjummas.. I could be wasting my time with each one of them, but hey, they have nothing on you.
They could create rumors about me and some other woman. Television Program Directors could ask me to choose Honey Lee or Hyori Noona or Sunny or Jessica or Hye Sun Noona over you in shows, but you and I know the role you are playing in my life is irreplaceable. I've told you many times before and I'll tell you again, there's no need to worry about what they say because they have nothing on you, Buin.
You are perfect in your own way. You make each day perfect even when we are just lying like vegetables in bed staring at the ceiling or when you concoct something from my fridge and we eat together with gusto. And, what could be more perfect than just holding your hand while taking a stroll in our posh stylish neighborhood or stealing a kiss from you while you sit in your dressing room being made up for a performance. Or dreaming of a life somewhere in the South Pacific where we are not celebrities, just two ordinary people living a life together with our two sons and two daughters.
So they ask me, why you? My answer is simple. I tell them, when I come home from another guesting, another tiring rehearsal, another concert, another trip abroad—like I am doing now, there is only one I long to kiss, I long to hold, I long to make love to all night long, and that is you, my beloved Buin, my one and only Hwangbo Hyejung. There are many beautiful girls in the world who are fairer, prettier, more prim and proper, more refined, better cooks, better singers, better dancers, but in my eyes they are nothing compared to you, they simply just become nothing.
And when you open the door for me even in the middle of the night—like you are doing now, I get lost in your sleepy eyes and the warmth of your smile that makes me feel like you are the happiest girl in the world, that I make you the happiest girl in the world when you see me at the door.
So they ask me, why you? I tell them, 'Because I love her and she loves me back without much fuzz, without much demands, but to be loved back. Then the prettiest girls all over the world are put to shame because they have nothing on her.'
~~
Hwangbo rubs the sleep from her pretty cat-like eyes with the back of her hand after she releases her grip on the cold steel door knob. Her lips twitch upwards to a smile so innocent and sweet.
“Hi there, beautiful!”, Hyunjoong whispers.
“Hi..”, she twists her body a bit, pulling the giant sleep shirt past her knees with her cheeks turning pink and her exposed ears becoming red.
'She does that every time', he smiles admiring how cute she can be without even trying.
“Happy Second Year Anniversary, Love”, he pulls her into an embrace, smelling her hair, it still had that scent he missed terribly.
He has become a champion, and now, he is ready to claim his reward, his muse, his angel, his Buin.
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