An End To A Secret Affair

author's note: Finally, I’ve gotten this off my cloudy brain. It was based on a scene of a film I saw last weekend, perhaps the only scene or part I watched intently because I was busy shoving giant marshmallows in my mouth (see, never present food or drinks when I watch a film, I end up not being able to concentrate, so I can only grasp a few things or not understanding anything at all—talk about short attention span, ADHD much?). Thus, this was the only scene stuck in my head. Anyway, when I saw this all I could think about was Ssangchu, Joongbo, Ssangchu, Joongbo… I totally zoned out when the title was flashed, so I have no clue whatsoever about the title. All I know it that it was based on a novel, and who the author is, you might ask, again, I do not know. So all the credit for the deep conversations, must go to the scriptwriters and the author, and if you cannot understand, you can blame them, too… hahaha… Btw, some words, phrases, sentences may be exactly the same as that in the movie. sorry, i just thought it'd really fit my little story...

I twisted it up a bit, so it’s not really like the original story.

I do not know if this will work, I am kinda unsure about the flow of the story myself since I had no one to review it for me. Hopefully, it makes sense.

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Hyunjoong woke up to the sound of hushed whispers from the room adjacent to where he was. He could tell without opening his eyes that he was not in his room nor was he in his own home. The citrus scent was the same familiar scent he woke up to almost every morning for the past few years.

It was still dawn and the rest of the city had been sleeping soundly like he did. It’s been a long time since he slept. Though it was short, it had that invigorating effect on him. It seemed that the pressure, stress and problems he was veered with in the past few weeks he was clueless about her whereabouts had gone away, like magic.

He had panicked just a few moments ago, thinking everything that happened last night was just a dream meant to tease him and cut the last straw of his sanity. He always felt and knew this, he was lost without her, and that alone was an understatement to how lost he was when he realized that she had gone far away after he came back to Seoul. So far away, that not even her manager knew, and her closest friends could not be bribed to spill any information. Thoughts ran though his head, like a herd of wildebeest during hunting season at the Serengeti.

But hearing her hushed whispers from the other room was like Debussy in his ears—cool, relaxing, real. He watched as her silhouette paced ever so softly. He did not need to see every inch of her to know that it was really Hwangbo Hyejung. He could tell from her silhouette that those hips, those well toned arms, the wavy mane, the alluring S-line belonged to his Noona.

Hwangbo opened the door to find Hyunjoong sitting up in bed only covered by the satin material of her blanket waist down. She met his smoky gaze with a tiny smile.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”, she asked as she climbed back to bed.

Hyunjoong shook his head watching her. She was like a jungle cat purring her way back to the mattress.

“Go back to sleep”, she pushed him gently.

Hyunjoong lay on the bed again as Hwangbo set her head on his chest.

“I’ll wake you up tomorrow, and cook your favorite breakfast”, she whispered after trailing a series of butterfly kisses on his bare chest with her luscious lips.

When Hyunjoong woke up again, it was already mid morning.

He sat on the breakfast table near the patio, watching as Hwangbo busied herself preparing his breakfast at the kitchen.

“Eat”, she set a tray in front and winked at him.

Hyunjoong took a small piece of toast and shoved it in his mouth.

“We need to talk. Let’s get it over with, shall we?”, Hwangbo started.

She took the chair in front of him and sat down, “You’ve come back. How could I have thought you were just like all the others? Why didn’t I realize that you are the one? The only one? The love that comes along once?”

She stared lovingly at him, “Now, let’s be practical. Are you willing to leave all the arrangements to me? A letter is probably the best way.”

They had been planning to escape from the real world. She looked giddy and excited about this escapade.

“Short, but straight to the point.” She added referring to the letter.

But Hyunjoong started to feel uneasy about their plan, second thoughts started formulating in his brain, “You should get your things before we leave---------“, she stopped mid sentence and wailed at him, “Will you please stop pulling the skin on your toe? That’s how you get an ingrown toenail!”

Hyunjoong stopped what he was doing, and looked up at Hwangbo like a child caught cheating.

“Don’t you have anything to contribute to this discussion? Geez, you’re like a 12 year old.”, she said looking rather unhappy at Hyunjoong’s lack of interest.

He stared at the floor in the most childish kind of way, “Maybe, I’ll likely to stay that way for the rest of my life.”

“What do you mean?”, she said eyeing him.

“It’s true, isn’t it? To you, I would always be like a 12 year old.”, he answered without thinking.

“Most people would be pleased to have the secret to eternal youth. It’s part of your charms, stupid. I do not know why you are complaining to me about it.”, she smiled at Hyunjoong.

“I am complaining to you about it because if I am like a 12 year old, it’s your fault.”, he answered not able to look at her at all.

“My fault?”, Hwangbo was shocked at his sudden outburst.

He was startled at his Noona’s raised voice, “I am sorry, Noona”, he quickly muttered.

But it was too late. Hwangbo’s temper spiked at Hyunjoong’s sudden childish display, “I can do without you…So, what do you mean it’s my fault?”

“I’m sorry. I should not have said that.”, was his only answer.

Hwangbo scoffed when a sudden realization hit her hard, “You think you can drift back and forth between your wife and me? Is that what you had in mind?”

‘Of course, Hyunjoong had been unsure and had a sudden change of heart because of his wife’, she thought bitterly.

About a month ago, he was married to a family friend’s daughter as set up by his mother. It had been hard on him to marry someone he did not love, and it was even harder for Hwangbo to accept that she would not be the woman to stay by his side. From the very start and even when rumors about them started to spread like wild fire, they knew no one would accept them. There were many variables, countless reasons. Thus, they never talked about a future together. They just accepted it for what it was, late night sex (and sometimes early morning or mid afternoons or every chance they had) plus intimate talks plus a little emotional hang ups equals a secret affair.

Somehow, at the back of her head, she knew that the secret affair they have been having for more than two years now was to remain a secret and an affair that was bound to end. And she knew so well that she was bound to get her poor heart broken because she fell inlove.

Hyunjoong still immature in so many ways, did not realize that there was only one for him, and that was his Noona, Hwangbo Hyejung.

The day before he was married Hwangbo wished him well and proceeded to taking a long hiatus knowing that she might not let him go if she was present at the church. And so, she hid away from everything and everyone who knew her and everyone she knew, she was after all very good at hiding. Hyunjoong upon knowing her sudden disappearance was worried and seriously contemplating on leaving his new wife behind in search for his beloved Noona.

Hwangbo’s anger was flaring, “Well, if that’s it, you’ll have to learn to look a lot less guilty than that unless she’s stupider than I take her for. Your wife is not going to put up with you forever, you know. The truth is bound to come out somehow. The poison is bound to take effect.”

Hyunjoong stood up in haste, knocking the chair over, “Stop it, Noona. I cannot allow you to ruin my idea of you.”

“What?”, Hwangbo raised her voice as a sudden onslaught of emotions overpowered her.

Hyunjoong was equally as furious and frustrated at how this conversation was going. He could not stop himself, “Talking like that, you sound like my mother.”

That made Hwangbo shut her mouth and draw back.

“Before I got married, you said to me, be kind to her, try not to make her suffer.”, Hyunjoong was calm now. “That’s what you are like, you are a good person. Even last night, you said you hoped you had not done something cruel.”

He kneeled beside her and caressed her cheek, “You are above all that. Noona. That’s why I have always loved you.”

“Why did you come back?”, she asked with a stern expression, “I was only starting to forget you…”

Hyunjoong stood up shocked at her words, “Well, I was not!!” he said a little too loudly, “I came because I could not do without you. You have no idea what my life was like these past few weeks. Now, I know what it’s like to suffer because of a woman. When I found out you were back, I was so relieved. I thought I could go home and everything would be alright, but I could only think about you. But then last night, I came back here-----”

“You came back here and you found someone else, an old woman...”, Hwangbo finished his words.

Hyunjoong’s tears started streaming down his cheeks. She, indeed, was different from the Noona he knew.

“Yes, you found someone else, an old woman. Do not cry…. Why are you crying?”, she spoke tenderly now, wiping his tears. “I am so grateful to you. Because you were really in love with me and you really think I am a good person.”

She started to stroke his messy hair in the way he always liked, and continued to talk to him in the most gentle way hoping he’d understand her words and what she was about to do.

“I’ve been truly a good person, I have made a man out of you. I was thinking of nothing but your pleasure and my happiness. I would not have kept you to myself. Years of easy living does make you very vulnerable. I never did talk to you about the future, so forgive me.”

“I love you as if you were going to die on the same day. I carried you in my heart for such a long time. I forgot you were going to carry your own burdens—a young wife, perhaps even a child. And so you are going to suffer and you are going to miss me. You are going to find wisdom and tolerance not to cause suffering to others.”

“The thing is, now, you have had a taste of youth. It’s never satisfying, but you will always want to go back for more.”

“You must go.”, she whispered holding back the tears welling at her own eyes.

“I love you”, Hwangbo confessed for the last yet most painful time, “but it’s too late.”

“Go!”, she weakly said, “get dressed and go away now.”

Hwangbo reached over to kiss his cheeks softly. Their final kiss.

Hyunjoong left her apartment feeling as if he was capsized and presented with a catastrophe. He fixed the hood of his black jacket, and covered his head after wiping the stray tears that flowed from his eyes with the back of his hand.

It will take awhile before they realize that they have both been unjustly punished. Hwangbo for having been born so many years before him, and Hyunjoong for being unable to grasp that Hwangbo Hyejung is the only person he will love.

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