Bald is Beautiful

Ahck, I'm getting too emotional these days..

Mianhe in advance...

~*~

He used to style his hair however he felt like it. He took very good care of it after being criticized for dying it orange once.


It was his crowning glory.


But now, he stands in front of your vanity—slowly brushing his fingers through his hair, staring at the loose strands on his fingers. His eyes filled with sorrow and pain.


He takes one of your beanies from the display shelf and tries it on, then one of your caps. But seeing his appearance on the mirror does not satisfy him. He takes off the hat and lets out a big sigh.


He blankly stares at the strands of his hair scattered on the floor and the vanity. Thinking deeply.


He quickly hides the devastation on his face when he sees your almond eyes fixed on him. He forces a smile.


“It’s just hair.. It will grow back”, he said.


You open your eyes wider to keep the tears from breaking loose and spilling on your cheeks.


“Right.. It will grow back, honey..”, you try your best to keep your voice from shaking.


You admire his strength, and most of all, you admire his will power to continue to live on despite the odds and the pain caused by his illness.


You walked towards him and hugged him from behind. You did not want to see him so weak and powerless. You did not want him to see how painful it was for you to see him that way. You wanted to be strong for him. You wanted to be his rock, but all your strength crumbles down to tiny pebbles and dust when you hear him cry because of the pain.


Your shoulders shudder as the tears streamed down your face. You hold him tighter.


“Stop crying my Love.”, he said untangling your arms around his waist, and started to go through a black bag on top of the vanity, searching for something.


“Will you do something for me, Honey?”, he mumbled, still concentrating on looking for something.


You nodded as you watched his reflection on the mirror.


At this very moment, you were willing to do anything for him, anything to make him happy, anything to make him feel just how much you love him.


In this relationship, he has been the strong one. Although you were born a few years earlier, you always relied on him for strength on anything and everything—be it in your career, your family, your friends.


He finally found what he was looking for. He smiled and turned to you.


He handed a silver electronic gadget over to you, and placed it in your trembling hands.

You looked at him, confused.


“Will you shave it all off for me, Buin?”, he smiled, sincerely.


“No…no… I can’t do it…”, you try to hand it back to him. You were beginning to cower.


But he refused to take it, “Please??”, he begged.


“I want you to do it.”


“You know this is not easy for me. But if you will be the one to shave off my hair, maybe it won’t be as tough.”


“You know I would have easily given up on this battle with cancer, but you said you wanted me to fight it. You said you wanted me to fight it and that you’ll fight it with me. You said you wanted me to fight it for you and our love. It was painful, words can never explain the pain, but I will and I am. I chose to fight it because of you.”


“When I sit on that chemo chair, I think of you, a future with you, the love I will share with you, and it does not hurt as much anymore…”


You wipe the tears on your cheek and reached over to wipe his tears. It was your turn to be strong for him. It was your turn to be his rock.


“Sit down”, you told him. He complied.


You held the device tightly after turning it on. You smiled at him.


“Are you ready??”, you asked.


He bobbed his head up and down. There was not a single trace of pain in his eyes as he smiled eagerly.


It was not an easy thing to do, but for this man, you are just about ready to do anything because you need him, because you love him, because you love him perhaps more than you love yourself, so you need him more than the riches and the fame this world can ever offer.

~*~

This story came from nowhere.. Lie!!


Having to watch someone close to you fight cancer is disheartening. Your insides turn to jelly and you lose strength. Yesterday, I came home to see a family member balding, almost hairless. She smiled at me, and said, I think I need to have all of it shaved already. I sucked it all up and smiled back, Yeah, the weather is kind of hot, so maybe it'll be more refreshing for you that way..


I'm looking for a diversion, so here it is...TADA...


Comments ABOUT THE FIC are deeply appreciated.

Na7x Talkin' bout you and me..and the Games People Play..

You know those awfully boring times at work where you grow sleepy beyond comprehension because there is nothing to do and time passes by e..v..e...r... s..o.. s..l..o..w..l..y, but you cannot sleep because you'll be putting your career and working ass on the line?, well, I've had a lot of those times-me and a friend to be more exact. So we thought of and did a lot of things to keep our idle minds amused. We tried to be very creative, so we tried everything from Facebook, Friendster, Meebo, YM, Yahoomail, Hotmail, read e-books, gossip, browse, research on Korean dramas, sms (yes, even if she's just a cubicle away), did each others manicure, make up, coloring books (uh-huh!! you read it correctly!!), word hunts, play cards, etcetera...

But when our internet access was limited to just certain sites, we knew we had to be more creative, so work email enters...

The thing is, we ask each other questions (mostly if, then, what or who questions-to make it more fun), and we answer each other through email.

I was digging through stuff and deleting emails when I found this. Our topic was Korean stuff (from the country to the people, especially Kpop and Kdramas) which probably was the longest running topic we had.

I'll just post the questions thrown at me and my answers since I am not too sure 'friend' wants to reveal all her dorky answers-nyahahhaa..

Here goes:

If the people in the world were only allowed to have ONE CRUSH, who would you choose, Hyunbin and Gong Yoo?

Me: *sigh* This is harder than I thought!! I love both very much!!! But I'll have to go with Gong Yoo because Hyunbin is taken.. Ow, that does not make Gong Yoo any lesser than Hyunbin because I heart both!!

If Yunho goes to Cebu and you see him riding a Multicab, what would say to him?

Me: I probably won't be able to recognize him because there are lots of Koreans here in Cebu who have learned to use Public Utility Vehicles, and I suck at recognizing people upfront. If I can spot him, I would be the happiest, luckiest Yunho-shipper ever!! I would probably pay for his fare, answer all his questions (even if he does not ask me), fan him because it's terribly hot in Multicabs.. I'd even take him to souvenir shops, Korean restaurants, wherever.. I'd say: Annyeong, Saranghae!! Please Marry Me!!

Who is the fliest female celebrity in Kpop?

Me: I think Hyori is a cool girl and Seo Inyoung, too. I also like Yoon Eunhye, but Hwangbo, for me, will always be the fliest female celebrity ever!!

And your girlcrush is??

Me: Ahhh, that's easy!! Hwangbo!!

What's your favorite-est ever Kdrama?

Me: I've seen this drama probably more than five times, and I will watch it again when I feel like it.. It has to be My name is Kim Sam Soon..

Which is better X-man or Loveletter?

Me: WTH!! Those two are different programs!! But X-man has more variety, so X-man it is!!

Lee Dahae or Go Hyesun?

Me: I like both, and both are VERY pretty!! And they act well!! I give them equal amount of love!!

Best Kpop group?

Me: Shinhwa!!! I heard they're reuniting on 2012. See, even if they have broken up as a group and have individual careers, they still look back to what made them what they are now. That's what I call brotherhood!! And for that, I admire them.. That also makes them the best!!

2ne1, SNSD, T-ara, BownEyedGirls, F(x), Wondergirls, Kara?

Me: I'm in a bind between 2ne1 and Wondergirls. I'm a fan of Yubin and I heart Dara, too. Both groups have catchy songs and they're not the usual 'oh, we're so cute..' girl groups. 2ne1-they're badass and Wondergirls-they're old school with a twist. So, it's 2ne1 and Wondergirls!

Mom, when I grow up I wanna be...

Me: Duh!! I wanna be like Hwangbo!! She's like my childhood hero, except that I knew about her at the ripe age of 25.. Hahahaha.. She's like equal to Madonna in my Childhood heroes poll..

Who are your favorites?

CNBlue - Yonghwa and the basist
2PM - Chansung and Nichkhun
2AM - Jinwon and Seulong
Super Junior - Heechul and Sungmin
Mblaq - Seungho and GO
Shinee - uhhhh... Hehe.. *smiles, completely clueless*
FT Island - Jeremy!!! Hahahaha.. Hongki of course!! He's too adorable!!
DBSK - Yunho and Micky!!
SS501 - Kyujong!!!
Shinhwa - Eric, Andy, Junjin and Dongwan
Beast - Haha.. Uhmmm? Uhh, I don't know any of them.

If you could remake one movie, what would it be and who would be the cast?

Me: Hmmmm, Dirty Dancing!! *big smile* But I would change the story. Instead of a younger girl, I would use a Noona. Enter, Hwangbo. And of course, a younger guy to teach her how to dance. Enter, Kim Hyunjoong. Weeeee!! They would bicker and fight, then learn to dance (note: intimately, passionately), then fall in love... and the rest I leave to your imagination---PERVY ONES, I'm assuming!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*end of 1st email* I'll dig some more...

Untitled 070810

The drama at work is a major killer... And someone pointed out that I'm too wordy and that I should keep things short and concise... She also said I cannot write a fic with only 500 words or less, so I said BRING IT ON!!

This is the result of the challenge. 464 words, waddup wid dat, b!atch??! Just kidding, the one who challenged me is a good long lost friend... Nyahahaha...

I was able to write one, but the thing is I'm not sure if it makes any sense at all.

And, it has no title.. Suggestions, please??

I'd appreciate some comments, and please tell me if it does not make any sense..
~*~

“Yoboseyo...”

The greeting makes you wince in pain, like daggers piercing through your heart and twisting it, digging deeper, cutting through.

“Yoboseyo??”

The voice rings in your ears as you hasten your pace, almost a jog. Trying to be discrete you slow down a bit, but the dagger cuts through and slices your heart open. And so, you run.

“Hyunjoongah, I know you're there.”

You just cannot get the voice inside your head. You run, as fast as you can—away from people, away from the flashing lights, away from it all.

“Hyunjoongah, are you listening to me? Hyunjoongah, please...”

You feel the tartan tracks burning under your soles as you increase your speed. But the faster you run, the louder her pleading voice echoes in your head.

“I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but I need to know if you're alright. Are you okay, Shillang?”

The air that's supposed to enter your lungs seemed to have abandoned you. You take in shallow breaths as you continue to run.

'Shillang?'

The term of endearment she used so casually doubled the pain you were trying to endure right now. 'How could she call me that now, when she was the one who called it off?', you thought as the scene of you on your knees proposing to her flashed in your chaotic head.

“You are going to be fine.. I know you can overcome all these..”

You shook your head. No, you are not going to be fine. And, you doubt whether or not you can get passed this ordeal with your group, with your former Management Company, with your anti-fans.

“If you need me..”, she stammered.

The sincerity in her voice was shaking the ground you ran on. A part of you wants to hear what she has to say, and part of you does not want to hear it anymore. But no matter how many times she breaks and rips your heart out of your chest, she was still the only one.

“If you need me, I'm just here, Shillang. I'm ready to listen. I'm just here..”

You drop to the ground as exhaustion takes over your tired body. Your heart was pounding on your chest. Sweat trickled from your forehead as you try to catch your breath. Her kind words on that phone call were stinging your barely alive heart. You close your eyes feeling the cold night air and listening to the deafening silence.

You get lost in your moment of reverie, and you silently formulate the words you wanted to say to her:

You have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. Now that we're living separate lives...

Heaven

I guess this is what they call last song syndrome. Last night before going to bed, I played this song at least five times in my laptop after watching the video that a college friend posted in her Facebook page. It's rather old, but a really good one.

I hope one day when my Papa hears this song, he'll think of me. *senti..ang drama...luppeeeet, hanep mehn!!!* And I hope to sing this song to my daughter one day (that is if I ever give birth to one)..

The past few days every song I hear seems to be Ssangchu related and if it's not, I always make some excuse, saying that it somehow connects to the couple. Ahck!! This is not healthy anymore, somebody slap me please!!

The plot/storyline came while waiting. And since waiting is tiresome, *TADA!!* a fanfic..

Comments and opinions are very welcome!! Oh warning I need to brush up on my Korean, so expect TONS of mistakes in this one
~*~
The sun has not fully taken over the skies yet, but there were rays scattered around giving illumination to the early risers. The soft rustling of the pink linens was always the first noise that awakened this household.

She wiggled her tiny toes and stretched her limbs.

“Good Morning, Eunsoo..”, she whispered to herself, alternately opening her left and right eyes.

“I'm awake Jins... I'm awake Teukie..”, she announced talking to the white Pomeranian licking her left hand(the grand daughter of her mother's dog), and the gray rabbit inside his cage.

She quickly jumped off the bed and ran to the hallways.

“Slowly Aghassi..”, the old woman working in the kitchen called out.

“Eunsoo is awake Ahjumma!”, she shouted, slowing down as she went down the stairs and dropped by the kitchen to give the aged woman a wink.

The little girl tiptoed when she reached the hardwood floors that led to the master's bedroom and carefully opened the door, trying her best not make any sound.

“Eunsoo is awake..”, she giggled as she talked, “Hyunjoong Appa, Good Morning!!”

The man under the white linens stirred.

“Hmmm, good morning princess..”, he mumbled then went back to sleep.

She ran back to the kitchen gleefully and opened the back door that led to the garden where a fresh beam of sun light made the patches of green and new pink and peach blossoms glow. She ran outside before the Ahjumma tells her to wear her slippers. Eunsoo loved the way the Bermuda grass tickled the soles of her feet. She giggled as she picked up a peach flower on the ground and put it on her hair.

“Eunsoo is awake!!”, she yelled to the top of her voice. “Hyejung Omma, Good Morning. Saranghae!!”

Eunsoo ran back inside before the Ahjumma catches her without her slippers on.

It was a typical morning in the Kim household. When the first rays of the morning sun hit the ground, the household comes alive because of the little princess' joyous morning chants.

She walks towards where the school bus was parked after kissing her Appa goodbye. Jiseuk, one of the neighborhood kids, walks up behind her.

“Annyeong Eunsoo..”, he greets her.

Eunsoo smiled at him happily.

“Can I ask you something?”, the little boy said.

Eunsoo nodded, “Yes..”

“My Omma said your Omma died three years ago..”, he paused trying to look at Eunsoo's reaction, but she just smiled waiting for him to finish what he was saying.

“Why do you still greet her in the garden?”, he continued.

“Ahhh..”, she giggled, “Did I wake you? I'm sorry if I did..”

Eunsoo's smile widened, “Hyejungssi, my Omma loved the garden. She worked there a lot.. Appa and Ahjumma said every morning she would sit there with me. Then she would say.. “Eunsoo is awake.. Good morning, Eunsoo. Saranghae..””

“When I do that in the morning, it's like I greet my Omma who is in Heaven..”, she added and walked on.
~
It was the start of yet another morning in the Kim household. But today was dim and dreary. There was a heavy cloud hovering over the entire city. Soon rain poured, blocking out the sunlight. Only furious lightning bolts lit up parts of the neighborhood.

Eunsoo was startled as the roaring thunder shook the upper storey of the house. Fear got the best of the six year old lass. She shook violently as tears ran down her cheeks. Another fierce lightning crackled and scared Eunsoo.

She fled her bedroom and took refuge in the Master's bedroom, hoping her father would be there, but a cold whiff of air and empty bed greeted her. Eunsoo remembered that her father was on a Business trip and would not be home until the next morning.

She quickly ran to the kitchen and opened the back door, but another roaring thunder came. She slumped at the doorway and started crying her heart out. She was alone, she realized. Her Appa was not there, and she was without a mother.

'I am alone', she thought and cried some more.

Her shoulders started to tremble, and her nose was as red as a tomato.

“I am alone..”, she cried like the scared little lady that she was.

“Aghassi..”, she heard the Ahjumma call her out.

Eunsoo looked at the old woman, “Ahjumma, I am alone. They all left Eunsoo..”

“Here...”, the Ahjumma wiped Eunsoo's tears and carried her in her arms.

“You know your Appa is just in Japan for work, right?”, she explained to Eunsoo after setting her down on the kitchen counter “And Omma.. Even if she is no longer on earth and even if we could no longer see her, she'll always be here”, the Ahjumma pointed at Eunsoo's heart.

“Hyejungssi will always be inside your heart..”, she smiled. “Don't you ever forget that, Aghassi.. Your Omma will always be inside your heart as long as it beats and you in hers. So do not ever think that you are alone..”

Eunsoo's sobs started to pacify.

The Ahjumma took her by the hand and led her to the basement. Eunsoo looked at her, confused. She's never seen this part of the house before.

There was a small lounge-like sofa in the middle of the huge space. Cabinets stood on the side with a wide array of bags and clothes lined neatly by the glass display cases where mannequins stood dressed in elegant satin ensembles. Beautiful photographs were pasted on the wall that faced the display cases with small HBHJ watermarks. On the far corner there were more clothes, this time for little girls.

“Hyejungssi spent a lot of time here when she was pregnant with you, little Eunsoo. Your Appa and your Omma decided that she should stop working because her pregnancy was complicated, that's when your Appa decided to make this basement her studio. Your Omma wanted to take beautiful pictures and make beautiful clothes for Eunsoo”, the Ahjumma narrated.

“And you know what, when she started getting sick after giving birth to you and when your Appa was not with her, she stayed here, especially when the rain poured.”

The Ahjumma picked up a pink knitted beanie, “She made this for you and everything in here..See, you are never alone Kim Eunsoo. Never. Your Omma loved you very much..”

Eunsoo smiled, completely astounded by everything in the room. Her glum spirit was uplifted. There was something in that room that made her feel like her mother was right beside her, holding her tightly, protectively in her strong arms.
~
The promise of a new morning, be it rainy or sunny, always meant something new and beautiful in the Kim household.

Eunsoo, now 27 years old and full bloomed beautiful woman, wiggled her toes making a rustling sound. She pulls the blanket from her face and let the fresh morning sun beams hit her face. She smiled, as she alternately opened her eyes.

“Is Eunsoo finally awake?”, a man's voice asked.

Eunsoo rubbed the sleep from her eyes and smiled at the man by the doorway. “Good morning Appa! Eunsoo is awake..”

She jumped off her four poster bed and ran to give Hyunjoong a kiss on the cheek.

They walked hand in hand towards the garden.

“Eunsoo and Appa are awake Omma..” she said, resting her head on her Appa's shoulder.

“Good Morning, Buin..”, Hyunjoong whispered.

“We love you Omma..”, Eunsoo added, “We love you very much...”
~
Hyunjoong knocked on the basement door.

His heart started beating in a very fast rhythm. It's been a very long time since he stepped foot on this basement. He found it very difficult to come back here and be flooded by memories of his beloved wife.

He smiled when he saw Eunsoo being made up, donning the cream colored wedding gown Hyejung wore on their wedding. She was a mirror image of his wife with her aristocratic nose, perfect full lips and cat-like eyes. Her smile was kind and gorgeous like her mother's.

“Yippouda..”, Hyunjoong said.

Eunsoo looked at him, unsure , as if asking for reassurance.

“Just like your mother..”, he added.

Finally, a wide smile broke on Eunsoo's face. She was indeed very beautiful just like her mother.

Hyunjoong watched as the make-up artists busied themselves on getting Eunsoo ready for her big wedding.

'I know you are in heaven smiling down on us Buin..', he sighed, contented, blissful. 'You gave me my little piece of heaven here on earth and, I hope you are as happy as I am...'

'Thank you..', he smiled, 'I'll be seeing you again..'

I don't need no one, to tell me about Heaven.
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth.
I can see the sunset, and I perceive.